How do I ...

[Tim Streater]

But make sure you "lose" the assembly instructions.

[James Wilkinson Sword]

Stop deflecting from the fact that your wife does not or cannot assist you. I get the feeling she's a nagger.

[Bob Eager]

My wife is actually quite good at DIY (and not just decorating, although she is much better at that than me).

Probably comes from her first 'proper' job, which was at B&Q (what do you expect wit an English Lit. degree?). That was in the days when B&Q employees had to know things (it was one of the very early shops). [1]

She'll help with the other stuff if I ask, that's all. As I will if she needs a piece of wallpaper held.

[1] If you're interested, she's now Head of Computing in a large school.

[Huge]

[27 lines snipped]

In her defence, she's much better at decorating than I am so I let her do it. With the exception of cleaning paint brushes. She's rubbish at that.

[Capitol]

Stop doing diy?

[ARW]

And to be on topic - my divorce was a DIY divorce.

The wife picked up the forms from the court and brought them round to my house and we filled them in together, I gave her half the money for the costs - which was a Birthday present from my parents[1] - she sent the forms away and the job was done.

[1] It really happened

Mum "What do you want for your Birthday" Me "Dunno, fancy paying for my divorce" Mum "That will make a change you normally want work boots or tools"

[ARW]

Well the simple answer is to put a TV in the kitchen.

[Huge]

Jhesus, no way I want to be subjected to some of the shit she watches.

(We have a TV in the kitchen.)

[ARW]

Tell me about it.

When I was married she used to watch Friends, Ally McBeal and some other show that I cannot remember the name of.

The current gf watches similar sorts of American shit.

[Huge]

TBH the only things she watches which I refuse to be present for are Coronation Street and Strictly Dancing Cum (I think that's what it's called). Those and The Archers.

[ARW]

I'll see you down the pub when they are on:-)

[Dave Plowman (News)]

But does your pub show boring football? ;-)

[Huge]

Love to. But sadly, I fear you are a bit far away for popping out for a quick pint.

[Huge]

Isn't that a tautology?

And no decent pub has a telly. Or recorded music.

[Dave Plowman (News)]

Getting rather difficult to find round here.

[harry]

Intellectual woman?

Oooooh.... Dangerous.

[ARW]

Only since an electrician set up a dodgy Sky box.................

[ARW]

Not even Vintage TV?

[ARW]

They will let them become prime minister one day.