Enlightenment!

[The Natural Philosopher]

My wife screamed at me 'I need you to empty the cat litter!'

Finally I realised why she married me.

[Davey]

Normally I get "The cat litter needs emptying", to which I agree. Later she complains that I didn't empty it, to which I reply that she didn't ask me to. No sense of logic, some people.

[Tim Watts]

The correct answer is:

"Why - did your arms fall off"?

[John Rumm]

Its nice to know ones place in the world ;-)

[jgharston]

Usually, the one screaming "empty the cat litter/bin/etc" is the one nearest the cat litter and the door it has to go through, and the person being addressed is usually up several flights of stairs away.

I remember seeing a film where the mother was stood by the kitchen door, holding a binbag of rubbish, shouting up the stairs "take the rubbish out!"

The correct response is: take it out yourself, you lazy

*x*x*x*!!

JGH

[Cash]

If I tried saying that to my 4' 10", 60+years [1] other half, I'd have the dirty litter tray around my ears - and I'd be sleeping outside with the cat - and I'd have to clean the mess up when she finally let me back in (and I'm all of 6'+ and over 18 stone [well over])!

Well, she used to have one hell of a mop of red hair - and she's still got the bloody temper to match. ROTFL

[1] In a whisper so she can't hear - that's nearing 70 next year

Cash

[The Medway Handyman]

Anyone else got an alarmed arm chair?

As soon as my arris touches the cushion you can bet your life SWMBO will want something done.

The other thing that drives me mad - SWMBO will call out "come here will you" usually when I'm in the middle of something. When I arrive its something she could have easily described without me going anywhere.

[ARWadsworth]

What do you say to a woman with two black yes?

Nothing, you've already told her twice.