Aldi DIY this week

[Graham.]

The clip-clop rythym in Doris Day's "Secret Love" always seems to take me by surprise. How can we get away with this in a cowboy movie.

[polygonum_on_google]

I saw this in their 23/01/2019 specials:

And offer you this:

Table vice, table vice, Every morning you grip me Small and light Clean and tight You look happy to squeeze me Acme of clutch May you fasten and crush Fasten and crush forever Table vice, table vice, Hold my work-piece forever

With sincere apologies.

[spuorgelgoog]

O Tablevice, O Tablevice You're so neat, so small and nice Through summer?s heat and winter?s chill You will hold the workpiece still O Tablevice, O Tablevice You're so neat, so small and nice

O Tablevice, O Tablevice A good job you do presage That faith and hope shall ever bloom Sawdust swept clear with a soft broom You bear a joyful message O Tablevice, O Tablevice A good job you do presage

Or as it's Aldi

O Tablevice, O Tablevice Du bist so hübsch, so klein und nett Durch Sommerhitze und Winterkälte Sie halten das Werkstück ruhig O Tablevice, O Tablevice Du bist so hübsch, so klein und nett

O Tablevice, O Tablevice Ein guter Job, den Sie vorgeben Dieser Glaube und Hoffnung immer blühen Sägemehl klärte sich mit weichen Besen Du trägst eine freudige Botschaft O Tablevice, O Tablevice Ein guter Job, den Sie vorgeben

Owain

[spuorgelgoog]

Just realised that Tischschraubstock would also scan

Owain

[polygonum_on_google]

Sehr gut, danke.

(I was prompted to ask if I wanted "Translate message into English". :-) )

[Roger Mills]

LOL!

Two obvious contenders to be the next Poet Laureate.

On a practical note - bringing it back to DIY - I bought one of these a couple of years ago. It works ok, but I had to re-engineer it considerably - particularly fettling the ball of the ball-joint, which was very rough and jerky. But what do you expect for £7?!

Following the original link also shows a suction vice - with its suction pad straddling a gap between two planks. No chance that would stay put!

[Brian Gaff (Sofa 2)]

Why does everyone send up The Sound of music by writing alternative lyrics. I always recall a song that we used to sing, though the lyrics are long forgotten, but. The hills have arrived with a pound of moose meat.... Brian

[Brian Gaff (Sofa 2)]

Oh dear... Unfortunately having just listened to an after the watershed program on bbc sounds, I immediately thought table vice was the at of having sex on a table. Terribly corrupting these bbc local radio shows. Brian

[polygonum_on_google]

For a very simple reason - as soon as I read the words "Table Vice" my brain put them to the tune of Edelweiss.

Curiously, I find there is a disconnect between that song and SoM. I heard the song numerous times back in the 60s (probably on the radio and TV) but hadn't seen the film until many years later. And when I did eventually see it, I was almost surprised that the song was in it.

The film was in many ways better than I had expected, though not really my taste.

[polygonum_on_google]

Thanks - I had vaguely thought of getting the non-suction one - will look very carefully before buying.

[Brian Gaff (Sofa)]

When I bought my first betamax video machine a copy of the Sound of Music came with it. I watched it once I think. Its OK but not really my scene either. Musicals are a pretty strange form of entertainment. The other day I listened to an AD version of Mama Mia all over again, and apart from the music the rest seemed almost pointless to me. Stories in musicals seem to be either ones of somewhat modified real life or completely written to use songs already written. Sound of music is the former. Flower Drum song is one where the original music is there but with more modern words of course. I think possibly t the best musicals are those which are kind of fantasies already, like Cats, Starlight Express or the Rocky Horror show, I mean if you have to suspend reality you might as well go the whole hog. I'm waiting for Shawn the Sheep the Musical myself, or how about Pepper Pig? Brian

[polygonum_on_google]

The standard musical is pretty awful in my view. SoM actually had some bits that worked well and sometimes the songs actually were part of the story and not just bunged in.

Cabaret was another where some songs were natural parts of the story.

[Brian Gaff (Sofa 2)]

Yes but cabaret was about, well to some extent, show biz, so I suppose not so much of a stretch. Its interesting, actually to listen to old Beatles recordings, the out takes and messing about bits, in one John fits lyrics about Yokos divorce having come through into the tune of Oh Darling. Its easy to see how musicals ideas are born. Brian

[Mike Halmarack]

My wife accused me of spending too much on DIY nick-nacks from Aldi and Lidl,especially as I'm getting on a bit and doing less and less. She claims this would be an IdleVise.

[polygonum_on_google]

Another film entirely. :-)

DOLITTLE

This is absolutely typical of a woman! She makes one pie and goes completely mad! Been here two minutes and she's re-planning the entire trip! I didn't think the pie was all that wonderful! Is there any more?

[newshound]

For any who still havn't seen it:

For Brian:

[whisky-dave]

Probably because it;s one of the most famous or well know songs that people know.

[whisky-dave]

Mine was I'm dreamaing of a vice chrismas, it's only 336 days away.