What do contractors do when they have to go to the bathroom?

[Larry Bud]

On a lighter topic, this came up in a local morning show in Detroit. For those who are easily offended by bathroom humor, click on "Next Thread" now!

I repeat, if you don't like bathroom humor, this is your last chance...

There's a local story where a guy from DTE Energy was caught by a homeowner peeing in her garden... right on her strawberry plants. Nice. So the show took calls from people on similar circumstances and the question was placed on those people who work outside all day, maybe driving from site to site, how do they handle the bathroom situation.

Some of the "hightlights":

One guy cleaned windows, and one of his customers gave him the code to her house and allowed him to use the bathroom, even though he said he didn't like having to use a customer's bathroom. He did a #2, and when he was leaving, the woman's daughter came home, they passed in the hallway, she entered the bathroom, and about 1.5 seconds later exited quickly!

Some of the not so great stories: Builders who did #2 the holes for sump pumps. Another guy who installed carpet said that a common practice for them was to find a remote road (dirt road), do a #2 in old carpet padding, roll it up and tie it, and put it on the bumper of their truck and "forget" it when they drive off!

Finally, a guy called up and said he had 2 chimney sweeps over for about 3 hours. One of the guys asked if he could use the bathroom, and he said yes. The guy was in there for 15 minutes and left. Home owners wife goes into bathroom and starts emptying laundry hamper. Chimney sweep apparently soiled himself, wrapped his underwear in newspaper, and threw it in the hamper!!! WTF?!?!

[HeatMan]

This is a shi**y subject.

Many years ago, I was sent to a new house where someone had crapped in a floor return. Needless to say, the stench was horrible. My helper and I removed the offensive hard pipe and replaced it. We also fogged the house with nearly an entire can of some stuff that was supposed to cover up the remaining smell.

The worst part was the general manager asked what we did. He started screaming at me because I didn't *clean* the duct work, but replaced it instead. I told him the fouled stuff was in the dumpster and he could go clean it himself. It never happened.

BTW, it was a co-worker that did the deed in the return duct because he was pissed at the builder and the GM of the company.

[gfretwell]

My wife is a builder, she has plenty of stories. Guys take a crap in the bathroom of an unfinished house, wipe their ass on their shirt and flush it. That comes back. Don't pick up a bottle and assume that is gatorade. Taking a whizz in the bushes is regular. Our TV station caught an A/C guy doing that in a sting. The nasty one is a guy taking a crap in the roman tub in a finished house.

BTW it is Florida law that the first thing you do is drop a porta potty on a construction site and that is the last thing that leaves, Guys just don't like using them.

[hallerb]

knew a garbageman, he would take a whiz carrying a bag oir can of trash as cover right on the street.

hey sometimes when you got to go its NOW!

[Jim Redelfs]

Working outdoors and rarely at the same place for more than a few hours, this is right up my... alley!

For the usual "stand up" relief, an opened door on the cab or utility box of the truck usually suffices.

Fortunately, I have NEVER had a true EMERGENCY for the other function where I was compelled to use something other than a "proper" receptacle. I usually drive to a convenience store or service station. Occasionally I will politely ask the homeowner's permission to use their bathroom.

I would like to think that I am NOT the exception in that I am consciously fastidious (clean) but my use of public restrooms causes me to suspect otherwise. Still, I have never been denied permission by a homeowner and take care care to leave the place as good, or better, than I found it. I can assure you that I have never done anything that would rate inclusion in a compilation of "horror stories" on a TV show.

I do know, however, there has been a BIG change in the construction industry in the last 10-20 years: Portable toilets are the norm now.

I used to NEVER see a portable toilet at a single home construction site. They are almost ALWAYS present now.

When my home was under construction in 1991, I learned the hard way that "dumpster diving" could be a hazardous venture: Empty ceramic tile cartons are the PERFECT size for an urgent "sit down" job. I suspect they are used to this day for that purpose where a P.T. isn't available.

I also learned the hard way to be careful where I kneel outdoors next to a new home when digging-in the buried phone drop: "Inside" corners that are mostly "private" are frequently used as stand-up latrines during construction.

There are several vendors for disposable urinal bags. A relatively new innovation, these handy items contain an absorbent powder. They will easily accommodate any "normal" single use. The powder gels-up, the bag is tied at the top and placed in any proper trash receptacle. A handy "fresh wipe" towelette is also provided!

Well, you asked...

[marson]

i know a contractor who was showing a high end client his new house just as it was being roofed. got dripped on and guy just stood there and commented about the rain. never figured out the "rain" was the roofer's piss.

[Moisés Nacio]

As a former contractor, I don't have any stories. But, I have taken a job with the state, in the transportation department, and have more than my share. So, I will extend the stories about every day people.

It's a great job in the winter, plowing & salting the interstates. On super slow days, when you're not doing patching etc., you do litter patrol.

We find all sorts of treasures, like watches, cash, tools, new clothing. One of my co-workers thought he hit the mother load, when he found a spiffy new briefcase. All of us figured a big load of cash was in it. It was locked, so the co-worker pried open his find. It was a mother load alright, someone took a dump in it, complete with toilet paper. Figure that one out!

[Dan_Musicant]

I had my first experience with contractors last November when I had a complete roof tearoff/replacement by a large experienced roofing company. The first couple days there were around 8 men working, after that usually about 6, and the job lasted a week. It was a full month before the job was actually completed, because there were various problems that I insisted they remedy before payment. Then it would usually be a couple of guys working.

I told the guys they should feel free to go in the back door and use the bathroom. I think that maybe one guy took me up on that one day early on. Maybe there were others, but I couldn't detect that. I determined that mostly, these guys were good at not having to go.

When you know that you won't have access to a toilet, you generally alter your habits - you don't drink as much and you void before you leave your house or the company facilities. I do that... It's just common sense. I'm sure that explains the fact that these guys didn't seem need to take a dump. Also, they almost always went offsite for lunch hour. I did see a few bottles partially filled with yellow liquid here and there, probably times when they forgot to remove them. There was no portapotty. They are based out of Oakland, CA.

[Oren]

I'm not a contractor, but on a site I will not go in a porta-poti for sure. Out here they are called "taco stands". I have carried a bucket, paper and line the bucket with a garbage bag if I need to sit down on a job (in the back of the box truck).

Four prison staff were traveling in two vans outside Tampa on I-75. A large tire iron fell from a semi, causing a front tire blow-out in the front van. Lucky it didn't go through the windshield. Both vans are pulled over into the center median, well off the highway and the three guys are changing the tire. "Rosa", says she has to pee bad and can't wait. She trots to the other van, goes inside and does her business. "Where the hell is Rosa?" Being a secure van: dark windows, a screen behind the seats, bars on the windows and no handle to get out Rosa sat there with a 48 OZ Big Gulp cup full of wizz. Nobody heard her screaming to get out, because of the traffic.

Oren