Eliminate the Doctor;
AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.
Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The
blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing
vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the little woman about lifting the toilet seat
simply using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut
yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in
veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you
rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of
laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will
forget about the toothache.
Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and
should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.