OT: Idiot Sightings

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I handed the teller @ my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00.

I said "May I have large bills, please?"

She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size."

When I got up off the floor I explained it to her....

IDIOT SIGHTING:

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!'

His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.'

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS

IDIOT SIGHTING:

We had to have the garage door repaired.

The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.

I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.

He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that

1/2 was larger than 1/4.

He said, 'NO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'

We haven't used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill.

Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.

She said, 'You gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes, I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.'

She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request.

I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.'

The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at MickeyD's.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I live in a semi-rural area.

We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office

to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.

The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!

I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.

She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' (of course, I wouldn¹t have left myself open by using the word ³minimal² at Taco Bell)

He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

From Kansas City

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,

'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'

To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'

He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

Happened in Birmingham, AL

IDIOT SIGHTING:

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.

I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what

the buzzer was for.

I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.

Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?'

She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS

IDIOT SIGHTING:

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,'

our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.'

Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself.

And for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

How would you pronounce this child's name?

"Le-a"

Leah?? NO

Lee - A?? NOPE

Lay - a?? NO

Lei?? Guess Again

This child attends a school in Kansas City, Mo.

Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.

It's pronounced "Ledasha".

When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "the dash don't be silent."

SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash.

If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don't be silent.

STAY ALERT!

They walk among us....... and they VOTE!

Reply to
Malcom "Mal" Reynolds
Loading thread data ...

Large is ambiguous. Next time, ask for $100s.

And if you're trying to act "street savvy", large = 1,000 not 100.

Reply to
Lamont

labeled as such. if such things offend you, why do you read them?

Reply to
Malcom "Mal" Reynolds

"Malcom \"Mal\" Reynolds" wrote in news: snipped-for-privacy@news.solani.org:

Thanks for the laughs!

Reply to
Noahbuddy

Straight Democrat.

Reply to
common_sense_not

same size."

it's open!'

responded that=20

but this way you=20

y but we could=20

f course, I=20

We were in a Bureau of Land Management/National Park office in Silverton, C= O and the manager told us this one:

He asked us if we had an "America the Beautiful" Senior Pass that allows ol= der folks free passage into most national parks and BLM facilities and very= reduced camping fees ($10 lifetime fee). He said he had a older couple in= a few days earlier and mentioned it to them. The woman went NUTS! Starte= d swearing and claiming that it was just another government scheme to gathe= r personal data (they don't), another tax, the park service was just anothe= r liberal group, etc, etc. Apparently she worked herself up into a pretty = good lather before she stormed out, slamming the door and leaving her husba= nd behind.

The manager looked at the wide-eyed husband and said "It really is a good d= eal for folks who travel the parks and BLM sites."

The husband said "Yeah - I know it is. But would you buy one if you were m= e?"

RonB

Reply to
RonB

Is it legal to leave such a woman tied to a tree for a few days, in bear country?

Christopher A. Young Learn more about Jesus

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.

We were in a Bureau of Land Management/National Park office in Silverton, CO and the manager told us this one:

He asked us if we had an "America the Beautiful" Senior Pass that allows older folks free passage into most national parks and BLM facilities and very reduced camping fees ($10 lifetime fee). He said he had a older couple in a few days earlier and mentioned it to them. The woman went NUTS! Started swearing and claiming that it was just another government scheme to gather personal data (they don't), another tax, the park service was just another liberal group, etc, etc. Apparently she worked herself up into a pretty good lather before she stormed out, slamming the door and leaving her husband behind.

The manager looked at the wide-eyed husband and said "It really is a good deal for folks who travel the parks and BLM sites."

The husband said "Yeah - I know it is. But would you buy one if you were me?"

RonB

Reply to
Stormin Mormon

I worked as a teller for 2 commercial banks in NYC. A total of 5 different branches over a six year period. "Large" always meant $50's and $100's.

There was no ambiguity whether we talking teller to teller, teller to commercial customer (from local small businesses) or teller to 'non-commercial' customers.

Reply to
DerbyDad03

I think he's trying to make a joke. Saying I'd like "large bills" normally means $50s and $100s ("small bills" would be $1s and $5s). OTOH, saying "100 Large" is street for $100,000.

Nope. It's common. My wife is a teller in a commercial bank, too.

Reply to
krw

Nothing like that has ever happened to me in the UK. If all these things happened to you, Americans are indeed extremely stupid.

OR

Your are an attention seeking liar.

I think I tend to the latter theory.

Reply to
harryagain

then that obviously makes you statistically superior

ah, you've just proved that your first statement above was a lie

Reply to
Malcom "Mal" Reynolds

as opposed to gay republicans?

Reply to
Malcom "Mal" Reynolds

I actually had this happen to me at a sandwich shop. The clerk had a British accent. LOL!

Reply to
Lachlan Ellis

Actually Mamonides dealt with this exact same question in the 15th century. He was asked: "You have said that the Holy One, blessed be his name, created man so that man may form profound rational thoughts. Why is it, then, that we see so many who are incapable of forming profound rational thoughts? There is scarcely one scholar in a generation."

The Rambam answered thusly (paraphrasing):

"Those who cannot form profound rational thoughts are many indeed. The Creator, blessed be His name, created those of lesser intellect for several reasons. First, without them the scholar would have to master the skills of planting, reaping, and cooking, plus the making of tools for these endeavors. These activities would take time away from the scholar's profound thoughts, just to make his daily bread. Therefore, those of intellect lesser than the scholar were created to serve the scholar.

"A second reason is a consequence of your observation that scholars are extremely rare; Those capably of only modest thoughts were created so the scholar would not be lonely."

Reply to
HeyBub

ws: snipped-for-privacy@news.solani.org...

He's just copy/pasting a thing that has been circulating on the 'net' for years. I saw tht list at least 10 years ago.

Harry K

Reply to
Harry K

Loved 'em Mal. Thanks for brightening my day!

Jeff

PS Didja hear the one about the blonde who upon hearing someone say, "Christmas is on Friday this year", replied, "Gosh, I hope it's not the

13th".
Reply to
jeff_wisnia

were there any dates in what I posted? do the quotes being 10 years old change the veracity of the info?

Reply to
Malcom "Mal" Reynolds

If he asked for Euros, she could have given him physically larger bills.

Blind or sight problemed people in the US have a big disadvantage with paper money, Euro much easier to sort by size.

Reply to
Ed Pawlowski

that's what I was asking

Reply to
Malcom "Mal" Reynolds

My favorite idiot tellers are the ones who have asked me the stupidest questions. I was cashing a check at a drive through teller and the gal behind the glass asked "Is dis yo brutha? It says James on da driven license and Jim on da check. Is dis yo brutha?" James is not my name but you get the idea. To show the abysmal state of government school education, another teller asked "Is this your brother? It's James on the drivers license and Jim on the check. Is this your brother?" ^_^

TDD

Reply to
The Daring Dufas

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