OT: How to apply for Soc. Sec. Retirement Benefits

[Peetie Wheatstraw]

'allo,

I get an annual statement from Social Security Adm. indicating that I qualify for retirement benefits. I am single and can apply very soon now.

I trust the SSA about as far as I can shot-put the Rock of Gibraltar.

What I'd like to do is complete their application, make a perfect copy, then arrange to stop by one of their offices with the necessary documents (birth cert., etc). One-time visit and be done with 'em.

I can't find anything I can use to generate a paper application. The web app. looks "plenty funny" to me: it falls way short of telling me what it will do after I feed it some info and electronically sign (or whatever).

Moreover, I'd be happy as a clam if I could identify a responsible SSA employee who can be reached on the phone to discuss a valid concern. Their motto seems to be "We Are -Always- Here To Help You (So Long As We Never Have To Speak With You)!".

The SSA office in my area has an armed guard on duty. He looks at you funny if you so much as walk up and ask a question of the receptionist. I'm surprised there's no bullerproof glass (but I didn't check extensively).

Any serious suggestions, etc much appreciated.

Peetie

[J.H. Holliday]

You can apply online at ssa.gov. They call you in a few days to finalize your benefit date.

No need to ever have to look into their unionized government clerk beady eyes....

[Rich256]

I don't think you can even apply at an office. My wife and I both did it by phone (before internet). I remember that we had to "make an appointment". At exactly that appointment time we received a call.

Unless you have to submit a document you don't visit an office. I am quite certain that at the offices there is a long wait to just talk to someone. The one time I was there everyone waiting was talking Spanish.

[dpb]

Peetie Wheatstraw wrote: ...

1. Take off the tinfoil cap and come to earth...
2. From the SSA web site > ...

--

[HeyBub]

You can do it over the 'phone or, probably, on line.

In cases where the clerk cannot verify your bona fides, such as birth certificates not being online, you may have to present some documentation in person.

As for the armed guard, he's there to make sure you're not carrying a weapon and to remind you to turn off your cell phone. As you approach him, ask politely: "Can I take my gun inside?"

Your answer to his next question should be: "That's for me to know and you to find out, John Law!"

In my two visits to the SSA office, by far most of the traffic seemed to be people wanting duplicate SS cards in response to employer crackdowns on citizenship.

[Frank]

The clerk that I went to was a royal PITA. If I had to do it again, I would do on line or through mail. You can also go to any office in the country. Clerks may be more friendly outside of metro areas.

[Tom G]

When I applied a year ago, I filled out the online application. Then I called the SSA office and made an appointment to meet with a clerk and finalize the process. I'm sure you have to come in with your SS card and a valid birth certificate. Neither of these can be photo copies. Must be certified copies or originals. With the appointment made ahead of time, I was in and out within a half hour. They had a special line for people who were finalizing the online process.

Tom G.

[HeyBub]

Yeah, they're pretty efficient. In chatting up the lady who was working on my stuff, I told her: "I saw on the news yesterday that there are plans afoot to move the passport application offices from the State Department to the Social Security Administration."

She looked up.

"Yeah," I continued, "it's obvious even to the State Department that they are hopelessly incompetent in handling massive amounts of people and paperwork so they're turning to other governmental agencies with more expertise."

She began to weep.

"But they don't plan to transfer any employees or anything," I said.

She threw her shoes out the second-floor window (?) and began biting the desk!

They came for her. I left.

[in2-dadark]

From: [e-mail] (HeyBub)

Yeah, they're pretty efficient. In chatting up the lady who was working on my stuff, I told her: "I saw on the news yesterday that there are plans afoot to move the passport application offices from the State Department to the Social Security Administration." She looked up. "Yeah," I continued, "it's obvious even to the State Department that they are hopelessly incompetent in handling massive amounts of people and paperwork so they're turning to other governmental agencies with more expertise." She began to weep. "But they don't plan to transfer any employees or anything," I said. She threw her shoes out the second-floor window (?) and began biting the desk! They came for her. I left.

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You forgot to add...'git 'er done'....LMAO Dude you're funny as hell...

[Peetie Wheatstraw]

You called the national number? And eventually got to speak with a h*mo flogging sapien (or reasonable facsimile thereof)? :-)

No problem.

Might have to try your approach.

Wonder if they'd laugh if I asked for a copy of my record. I truly, -truly- don't trust 'em (even to keep simple records).

Thx, Peetie

[Edwin Pawlowski]

When I wanted them to correct my birthdate, the clerk was very friendly. Just incompetent though. Took me two years to get the change made. .