Humor: About retirees

Retirement ! Question: How many days in a week? Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime? Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees? Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors? Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire? Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies? Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for a senior who still works and refuses to retire? Answer: NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage? Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there. Or move back in there . . .

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch? Answer: Normal .

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement? Answer: The never ending Coffee Break?spiked !

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree? Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he worked with? Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

And, my very favorite.... QUESTION: What do you do all week? Answer: Monday through Friday, NOTHING..... Saturday & Sunday, I rest.

Reply to
HeyBub
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"HeyBub" wrote in news:2NWdncnZ4es4cYbSnZ2dnUVZ snipped-for-privacy@earthlink.com:

he he he he he They've worked, so now is their time to enjoy retirement.

Reply to
Marina

Dunno, I retired five years ago and for the next nine months I worked my ass off. I finally got the whole concept of the "retirement" thing and gave it up to go back to work. I'll probably try it again in another five. ;-)

Reply to
krw

Lemme guess, with your cheerful attitude, you're a Walmart greeter?

Reply to
Betelgeuse

Hardly. Just too lazy to retire. ;-)

Reply to
krw

I really like that one.

Reply to
Tony Sivori

Re: Question: How many days in a week? Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Pre-retirees often think that they'll need less money to live on once they retire. You know, the old adage of 80% of your current salary.

Then someone asks them: What if every day was Saturday?

They tends to alter their thinking.

Reply to
DerbyDad03

How much sleep does a retiree need?

8 hours a day .....10 at night.
Reply to
JimT

That is one reason I'm still working. I'd not only want 100% of my salary, I'd want more since I'd have more time to travel or build things.

I'm also one of the few people that can honestly say I like my job. I have it made.

Reply to
Ed Pawlowski

You'll be sorry you did that. ===

Reply to
Roy

The other thing that many pre-retirees think is that they're expenses will go down once they get older and stop traveling and having fun.

They don't realize that the cost of that trip to Italy is going to be replaced with the cost of health care via more prescriptions and trips to the doctor/hospital.

Reply to
DerbyDad03

I'll be sorry I liked a joke?

Reply to
Tony Sivori

Between Medicare, a good supplement and prescription plan, our cost is $600 a month. If I retire, I pay it all.

Reply to
Ed Pawlowski

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