How to be lazy at christmas - the tree lifter

[Commander Kinsey]

[Brian Gaff (Sofa]

Why do you never learn to put something descriptive on your messages before a huge long link to a vaguely described item? Brian

[Commander Kinsey]

Because I keep forgetting you're in here. Sorry, it's a huge platform where you can assemble your christmas tree and surrounding artifacts, then when xmas is over, you operate the electrical mechanism which hoists it all into the attic through a large hole in the ceiling.

[Mark Lloyd]

It had lights already on it, depriving you of the pleasure of decorating it each year.

[Commander Kinsey]

You have a point, a lot of the fun is assembling things, and making it different to last year. As a kid I liked to repair old light strings. I fascinated my mother by finding which bulb had blown (they didn't have shorting links inside) in a string of 40 lights by running a voltage detector pen along the wire.

I got lucky and the live went through the bulbs with the neutral as the return, but I could have changed the wires over in the plug if that hadn't worked.

[Harry Bloomfield Esq]

Putting lights on a tree is incredibly tedious, they never look right. Our tree is pre-lit, via a single LED lamp.

[Commander Kinsey]

You are not entering the spirit of christmas. What's the point in decorations if you haven't put them there yourself?

[Mark Lloyd]

[snip]

At the beginning of the season, I look at pictures of last year's lights to make sure I don't do it that way.

I would do that too.

[snip]

[Mark Lloyd]

In the fall, I see ads for companies that put Christmas lights up for you. I intend to never use such a service. If I can't put my lights up I won't have any.

[T]

Genius!

[Dean Hoffman]

So who cleans all of the dust etc that gets on the tree in the attic?

[Commander Kinsey]

How hard can it be to put up lights?!

I've just fitted a string off 100 lights to a glass cabinet. I had the sense to measure things and work out how far they'd reach to get it all symmetrical.

[Commander Kinsey]

That's like paying someone to shave your face.

[Commander Kinsey]

Why would your attic generate dust? There's nothing happening up there.

[Commander Kinsey]

Why would your attic generate dust? There's nothing happening up there.

[Posted again due to some idiot removing the crosspost]

[Dean Hoffman]

Just because attics aren't perfect seals like a can of beans or unopened jar of pickles. Farming methods are a lot better than a half century ago but we still have dust blowing at times here in Nebraska. Won't a good wind produce pressure on one side with a vacuum on the other? I picture it a bit like going around an enclosed semi truck trailer.

[Commander Kinsey]

So you have holes in your attic.

[Dean Hoffman]

Aren't most/all attics vented?

[Commander Kinsey]

Yeah, builders think they'll be less damp by letting outside damp air in.