While I always enjoy hearing tales about your brother-in-law and look forward to reading about him, I don't see what he has to do with the OP.
We have no idea how the OP's system was designed, whether the Manual J's were done or the cooling load just guessed at, whether the OP went with the lowest bidder, etc. The OP is not happy, and I agree that he should be happy in his own house. Whether the contractor undersized the system (which sounds like a definite possibilty) due to a mistake, ineptness or because the OP asked specifically for a 3-ton (or whatever) system, we don't know.
Obviously if the OP has a problem with his system and is not happy he should contact the contractor and have him take a look at the system to see if it's operating as it should. Maybe there's a leak, clogged filters - many things could affect the system's ability to cool. If nothing is amiss, then the OP can discuss his dissatisfaction with the system's performance and can discuss what can be done and on whose dollar.
Your categorically stating that a contractor has to "satisfy the customer" at all costs is naive and inflammatory. But I think you already know that.
R