@%!#$% creak under carpet

Different idea: Are you on the first floor? If so, do you have access to the cellar?

No, I'm on the second floor.

Oh well. So much for using a restaurant mustard container to squirt powder in between pieces of wood in the basement. Save this idea for another time!

The technique is to find the ends of one joist. Use two nails and a string to mark the length of that joist. Then, in most construction, the other joists are going to be 16" apart, so now you can mark off the ends of the rest of them.

I think trying to use finish nails to solve this, however is a losing propostion, because a finish nail will not hold enough. There are some products made specifically for this. One is a system with a screw that you drive into the carpet using a special driver attachement that goes onto a driver drill. The screw goes in and when tight, the upper part snaps off below the carpet. I don't remember the product name, but if you google for floor squeak fix or fixing squeaky floors, etc, you'll likely find it.

If you go to the Ask This Old House web site, they have a video of how to do it. Nifty tool.

Creaks are quaint and give character to the residence.

Plus, you can tell when someone is sneaking up on you while you lie peacefully in your bed.

Wish I had squeaks, but, alas, it's a concrete slab.

I was thinking cement coated nails, or ring nails. Either would be a better bet than smooth finishing nails.