keyline design

Very interesting.

Thank you,

McGowan's Drinking Guide (Translated from the original German. It's complicated, OK?) Drinking Problems

Symptom Fault Action to be Taken

Drinking fails to give Mouth shut or glass Buy another pint, and satisfaction and taste: applied to wrong practice before mirror. shirt front wet part of face. Continue with as many pints as necessary until drinking technique is perfect.

Drinking fails to Glass empty. Find someone who give satisfaction will buy you another and taste; beer pint. unusually pale and clear.

Feet cold and wet Glass held at Turn glass so that wrong angle. open end is pointing at the ceiling.

Feet warm and wet. Incorrect bladder Stand by nearest dog - control. after a while complain to its owner about its behavior + demand a pint in compensation.

Bar blurred You are looking Find someone who will through the buy you another pint. bottom of your empty glass.

Bar swaying. Air turbulence Insert broom handle unusually high - down back of jacket. may be due to darts match.

Bar is moving You are being Find out if you are carried out being taken to another pub - if not, protest that you are being kidnapped by the Salvation Army.

You notice that You have fallen If glass is still full the wall opposite over backwards and no one is standing is covered with on your drinking arm, ceiling tiles and stay put. has a fluorescent light strip across it.

Everything has You have fallen As for falling over gone dim, and you over forwards. backwards. have a mouthful of cigarette butts and broken teeth.

Everything has The pub is Panic. gone dark closing

Have awoken to find Have spent the night Look at watch to see your bed hard, cold, in the gutter. if it is opening time - and wet. Cannot see If not, treat yourself bedroom walls. to a lie-in.