Dear Readers.......

[Mr F. Bentos]

As if anyone would dare to impersonate me, I have no time for those who try to amuse us with their awful impressions. I am a natutral mimic and do an excellent Groucho Marx and Elton John. Who is best? Marx or John, my busy social life demands my services in humorland. It's hardly surprising, I'm the funniest man you're ever likely to meet. Sometimes I lie awake at night fretting that there will be some people I'll never meet in my lifetime, and due to this, they will experience an inadequate and frankly sad lifestyle.

Mr F. Bentos

[E Z Peaces]

:) I was kidding, but his devoted followers were people who had snickered at first.

You're like that. You have experience and add to it with internet research. That's why I like your posts. Others are more like me: always the same old stuff.

There sure was an influx with Mr. Bentos! In an hour a thread would add forty posts.

I'd say Mr. Bentos was more into the art of composition than the science of cleaning.

The style didn't seem as colorful as Mr. Bentos. The closing didn't look right. I never thought I'd see him use " its' ".

[E Z Peaces]

Good plan! If you aim at me you'll really catch Mrs. Bonk by surprise. It will do her a lot of good. I don't know how many people have killfiled her for idly wasting time.

I wondered why you would tip her off, but now I see she'll be preoccupied with the obscene inference she will take from your wording.

[E Z Peaces]

Congratulations, Michael, you've smoked him out! He could run but he couldn't hide.

[E Z Peaces]

I, too, was forced to retire due to legal troubles in September. The inspector informed me I was riding on two rims. I'd been wondering why the pavement had been so noisy lately.

[Michael A. Ball]

But that's just it: there are always new questions, or repeated questions. They just don't arrive every day. There are often periods of a few days, with no new questions--but the news group hasn't withered or died.

________________________ Whatever it takes.

[Michael A. Ball]

Thank you. I see. I'm not very good at spotting Internet humor; and not very good at real life humor either, sometimes. :-(

Well, whoever the OP is, he/she certainly is dandy for waking everyone up. LOL

________________________ Whatever it takes.

[Mrs Bonk]

Back under your bridge Mr B!

[peggo]

I think its' him.

peggo

[Michael A. Ball]

EZ Peaces said,

I replied,

...

So which is it? Is he a, "DUH", imposter? Or is it "him", as you now think?

[Spit], I don't even want an answer. I just found it amusing that you gave me "DUH", for being slow to suspect an imposter; but now, you "think its' him."

Isn't Usenet great! LOL

_______________________________ Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers. - Voltaire

[The Ranger]

Mr F. Bentos' Wannabe bleated in message news:B [e-mail]...

Yeah, yeah. BTDT. Nice attempt.

The Ranger

[The Ranger]

Don't be daft. Of course its' not him. Typo-laden missives were NEVER his style. Even BBQ Boob produced better drafts.

The Ranger

[ermaBB]

The person that plays the part of Mr Bentos on usenet has also played many, many other parts. Personally I hope he brings back one of my favourites - " Everything Must Go" I guess he will take a while to get back into the swing of playing Mr Bentos.

Note to Mr Bentos:- Dump the American spellchecker - you're supposed to be an English gent

[peggo]

(GOB) its' was a joke. DUH.

peggo

[Mr F. Bentos]

I believe you, why would I not? You will find the You and Your Rights volume, published by Reader's Digest an excellent source of reference. I have no time for those who pursue legal action as I find a smack in the mouth works just as well. Make no mistake, I'm not a violent man, but if the antagoniser is not brought to heel, then I will surely squeal.

Thursday today. Mr F. Bentos, over and out

[Mr F. Bentos]

You insolent young woman, who do you think you're addressing? I was the sole manager of this newsgroup for over eight years and I have the absolute right to continue with reestablishing it as a necessary guide to all hygiene relared topics.

Mr F. Bentos

[Mr F. Bentos]

"ermaBB" >> Don't be daft. Of course its' not him. Typo-laden missives were

I remember Everything Must Go well, I raised over £2000 for the local orphanage, thanks entirely to my graciousness and organisational skills. As for Bentos being a character, I suspect the metamphetamine drug is employed by many of the regulars here, causing deluded thinking and scrambled egg brains. Damn and monkeys, I hope I'll get the chance to wring your necks after another day selling your illegal wares outside the school gates. It's a disgrace.

Mr F. Bentos

[Mr F. Bentos]

Please resist answering with a few words only. I do realise that the standard of education is low in your area, but this message seems lazy to me and I trust you will check Google for the word Respect. Ranger or not, where is Tonto when you need him?

Mr F. Bentos

[The Ranger]

Mr F. Bentos pewled in message news: [e-mail]... [snip of forgettable drool]

"A weak mind is like a microscope, which magnifies trifling things but cannot receive great ones." -- Lord Chesterfield

The Ranger

[E Z Peaces]

I considered straightening it out with a smack in the mouth, but the inspector was a man and I deplore violence. Besides, he was duly apologetic, explaining that he would have passed me if the state weren't so strict about these things.

He helped me out for an extra $10. His friendly assistant did the mounting and he applied my sticker, again apologizing for putting me to so much trouble.

I was too inexperienced to advise the assistant to clean my rim. I seem to have remedied the problem by pounding in sticks in order to use a pump-up sprayer -- a sight that piqued the curiosity of nosy neighbors.