We'll call them Moe and Curly
Moe and Curly have been drinking buddies since high school. Now in their mid thirties and both DIY home owners and family men they often gave each other a hand with auto and home repair. An extra set of hands is often needed and another persepective of a particular problem can be helpful.
Well Moe's septic tank had been giving him grief on and off for years. Curly, always one to keep up with the latest technology and DIYer tips suggested The Dynamite Solution. The idea was pretty straight foreward. "Scale" build up in the tank and leach lines could be concussively dislodged by a mere quarter of a stick of dynamite.
Conveniently, Curly knew a farmer who had some dynamite for removing tree roots and pesky boulders. Took him a few weeks to hook up with the farmer. "Hell, just take a stick and some fuse. Cut off whatever you want to use."
Curly arrived at Moe's late Saturday morning, dynamite and fuse in hand, ready to "fix that sucker for at least a year."
Moe had spent the morning working on his truck
- and drinking a beer or two. Wanting to get to the real fun, Curly pitched in on the truck repair, downing two or three brews in an attempt to catch up with Moe. The truck work took a little longer than expected and of course, that meant MORE BEER.
It was mid afternoon, and being an unusually hot one for that time of year, they'd been carefully hydrating themselves with more Tall COOOL Ones - having now downed about half a case each.
By the time they got around to the septic tank rational thinking was disappearing over yonder mountains and The Kid With The Fireworks was about to run amuck.
"Ya know - if a quarter stick will fix things for a year or two - well a half stick should be good for at least another two or three years." And they had another beer or two discussing the idea , each thinking "This is going to be SO COOL!".
By the time they got around to lighting the fuse, and a few more beers, it was a whole stick they'd gone with.
Moe held the stick over the septic tank pump out hole while Curly lit the fuse. They were giggling like grade schoolers as they ran to hide behind a tree "a safe distance away". Fingers in their ears, they grinned at each other like idiots while waiting for the ground to shake which it did.
In the midst of their High Fives and back slapping Moe's wife appeared and she looked less than happy. Grabbing Moe by the ear, she led him cussing and swearing into the house, down the hall and into the bathroom She was obviously not pleased with the sudden, unforseen bathroom remodel that had just occured. Clearly she did not like the new color, new wall texturing or the new ambiance.
Curly of course had beaten a hasty retreat as soon as he saw Moe's wife come out the door and went into seclusion for the rest of the week end. There are limits to friendship.
There are two morals to this story. First - like alcohol and gasoline, alcohol and dynamite should never be combined. Second - More is not always better.
So when your buddy Curly says "I've got a great way to fix that!" and his idea involves explosive ...
charlie b