Re: O/T: Rum And Coke

[charlie b]

Priest gets to the ticket window at the train station and is faced with a rather busty young ticket clerk wearing a VERY low cut blouse - with a foot or so of cleavage exposed.

The ticket clerk looks up, sees the priest trying not to stare at her decollete (sp?), and embarassed tries to cover "them up" while apologizing profusely to the priest.

The priest tells her not to worry, it didn't bother him at all.

"So what can I do for you today father?" she asks

"Why, I'll take two pickets to Tittsburg please."

A priest on the way to visit an ill parishiner in the sleazier part of town finds he has no nickels for the parking meter.

He rings the door bell of the nearest door - and is greated by a madame - the place being a "house of ill repute." The heavily made up madame wearing a wail bone corset, garter belt and fishnet stockings - sees the priests collar and turns beet red, stuttering and mumbling an apology.

The priest tells her to think nothing of it. God loves ALL his children and sees them only in their natural state of grace and innocence.

How can I help you father? - the madame asks.

Have you two nipples for this dime?

[Robatoy]

That behaviour finally got to the priest and he decided to get an opinion from a psychiatrist. The shrink told the priest: "this kind of word/thought mix-up is quite common. You think of one thing and say another, in fact, just this morning, I wanted to ask my wife to pass the salt, instead I said You're ruining my life you fat bitch!"

[Swingman]

Another monitor bytes the dust!

[Dave In Texas]

An Irish guy walks into the bedroom with a sheep on a leash and says, "Honey, this is the cow I make love to when you have a headache."

The wife, lying in the bed reading a book, looks up and says, "If you weren't such an idiot, you'd know that's a sheep, not a cow."

The guy replies, "If you weren't such a presumptuous bitch, you'd realize I was talking to the sheep."

Dave in Houston

[Robatoy]

Yowsa! (*filed under !to-be-used-for-carefully-selected-audience!*)

That one reminds of the classic one during the mad cow disease scare where the waiter takes an order: "For you sir?" Patron: "I will have a nice big juicy steak.: Waiter: "What about the mad cow?" Patron: "She will have the salmon."

[Larry Jaques]

On Tue, 23 Feb 2010 21:48:43 -0600, the infamous Swingman scrawled the following:

My monitors always survive. It's the _keyboards_ I lost, before I learned to "swallow _before_ reading the Wreck."

-- "Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy." -- Ernest Benn

[Steve]

Why do they call it PMS?

"Mad Cow Disease" was taken.