Lew went into a pet store looking for a pet.
"Can I help you?" inquired the shopkeeper.
"I'm looking for a pet, something interesting," responded Lew.
"Well, we have this Parrot, he's $300."
"Three hundred dollars?" responded Lew, "I've been sinking a lot of
money into a boat. Don't you have anything a little less expensive?"
"Well, I have a $50 parrot."
"What's the difference between the $50 parrot and the $300 parrot?"
"The $300 bird can talk and the $50 one cannot," explained the shopkeeper.
"Why is that?"
"Well," continued the shopkeeper, "the $50 parrot has a little too much
on his beak. It keeps him from talking."
"Can it be fixed?" asked Lew.
"There's an operation," responded the shopkeeper, "but its very
delicate,and if too much is taken off the beak, it would kill the bird."
"Well, I'm a Lockheed Precision Machinist," Lew proclaimed, "and can
machine materials down to 3/1000 of an inch. I can take that excess
"No, no," responded the shopkeeper, "it isn't work the risk."
"I'm a Lockheed Precision Machinist," repeated Lew, "and can easily
perform that operation. I'll take the $50 bird," he said, shoving the
cash into the shopkeeper's hands.
The next day, Lew returned to the pet store with a sullen look on his face.
"I'll take the $300 parrot," he told the shopkeeper.
"What!" exclaimed the shopkeeper, "What happened to the other bird!"
"You did it, didn't you," the shopkeeper angrily exclaimed, "You took
too much off the beak and killed the bird!"
"No, that' not what happened," replied Lew, shifting uneasily on his feet.
"Then what happened," demanded the shopkeeper.
"Well," replied Lew with an apologetic tone, "I crushed his head in the