OT: Just a Joke

[stoutman]

The President, First Lady and Dick Cheney were flying on Air Force One. George looked at Laura, chuckled and said, "You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy." Laura shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy." Cheney added, "That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the window and make a hundred people very happy." Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, "Such big-shots back there. Hell, I could throw all of them out of the window and make 56 million people very happy."

[jo4hn]

Gotta be more than 56 million. LOL. yuk, jo4hn

[George]

My favorite variation from Soviet days, where political "anekdoty" were always attributed to Georgia, and radio Yerevan.

Little Ivan raises his hand in class and poses the following question: "What's the difference between the words 'catastrophe' and 'misfortune' (katistrofii i bedy)?"

"Well, Vanya, consider the following example. If you were walking to school and dropped your lunch into a puddle, that would be a misfortune, but certainly not a catastrophe. "

"On the other hand, if a plane carrying the entire central committee of the Communist party were to crash into mount El'brus, it would be a catastrophe, but no misfortune."

[George]

Read before sending. Armenia, not Georgia.

[Ranger Paul]

Joke - Laura + Rumsfled = better joke

And the number of happy people would increase dramatically.

Laura hasn't done anything to piss me off......yet.

RangerPaul

[Robert Bonomi]

And it was "Radio Armenia"

As in Radio Armenia's advice to Pres Kennedy on what to do in case of a nuclear attack:

"Get under a white sheet, and crawl _VERY_SLOWLY_ towards th nearest cemetery."

To which JFK asked "Why crawl 'very slowly'?"

Radio Armenia replied; "What's your hurry?"

Also, Radio Armenia was asked:

"Is it really possible to rape a girl in the central square of Yerevan?" (Yerevan being Armenia's capital)

Radio Armenia thought this over for a couple of weeks, and then replied:

"Yes.... but you'll get a _lot_ of advice!"

[George]

Hmmm, spent a lot of time with the Soviets, and they always said Erevan.

[Bobby]

Hi, Ranger Paul! (I am referring to your site) I love the cross and the heart model. Could you make the two heart pieces interlocking thus holding the cross together? It would invoke a second meaning that the heart must hold a cross together just the same. Keep up the good work!

Bobby

[C & E]

Exactly the way I feel about *both* side of the isle!!

[Ranger Paul]

They do interlock. The cross does hold the two pieces of the heart together as designed and cut on the web page.

RangerPaul

[R. Pierce Butler]

"George" wrote in news:444a1f3d [e-mail]:

Q: If I have a bee in my hand, what do I have in my eye? A: Beauty. Because beauty is the in eye of the bee holder.

Q: What do you get when you cross a snake, a rabbit, and an amoeba? A: You get an adder that can multiply and divide.

[alexy]

Reminds me of one I heard MANY years ago at a state high school math competition. The narrator told "the rest of the story" of Noah and the Flood:

"After the arc came to rest on the mountain top, Noah addressed his passengers, charging them to go forth, be fruitful and multiply. So the animals started leaving the arc two-by-two, with smiles on their faces, and a couple of smirks from some who had gotten a head start on Noah's charge. Finally, two snakes came out, and were very dejected looking. Noah asked what was wrong, and they said they were adders and adders couldn't multiply"

[Insert groan from a couple of hundred high-school math nerds here.]

"So Noah told one of his sons to go out and cut down a small tree and some vines. They then cut the tree into 4-foot lengths, and used the vines to lash the logs together into a raft-like platform. Noah then drove four stakes in the ground, and had his sons lift the platform while he lashed it to the top of the stakes. [Note woodworking content here.] He then threw the snakes on this table and said 'Okay, now you can be happy, because even adders can multiply on a log table.'"

[alexy]

Make that "ark", of course. Guess there is still a lot of that math nerd left in me!

[jo4hn]

You need help. And remember that all involutory collineations are harmonic homologies. gark, jo4hn