OT Humor: Danger! Ethnic Joke.

[jo4hn]

An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scot were sitting in a bar.

The view was fantastic, the beer excellent, and the food exceptional.

"Y'know," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. Why, in Glasgow there's a wee bar called MacTavish's. Now, the landlord there goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy 4 drinks, he will buy the 5th drink for you."

"Well," said the Englishman, "at my local, The Red Lion, the barman there will buy you your 3rd drink after you buy the first two."

"Ahhh, that's nuttin," said the Irishman. "Back home in Dublin there's O'Driscoll's Bar. Now, the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. All on the house."

"Really?" said the Englishman, "did this actually happen to you?"

"Not me meself, personally, no," said the Irishman, "but it did happen to me sister.

[Larry Jaques]

On Fri, 17 Jun 2005 22:18:55 GMT, the opaque jo4hn spake:

Good'un. And to repay you for your kindness, here's a reply:

--snip--

DRESSES

A woman stopped by unannounced at her son's house. She knocked on the door, then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law laying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room. "What are you doing?" she asked. "I'm waiting for John to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered. "But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed. "This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained. "Love dress? But you're naked!" "John loves me to wear this dress," she explained. "It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me." The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, laid on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively. "What are you doing?" he asked. "This is my love dress," she whispered, sensually. "Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?"

--snip--

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[Mike]

A rabbi, a priest, and a polish guy walked into a bar. The bartender looked up and said..."What is this, some kind of joke?"

Mike O.

[Dave Balderstone]

Cher walks into a bar.

Bartender says "Why the long face?"

[Robatoy]

Kangaroo walks into a bar and orders a martini. Bartender says: "That'll be $ 8.00" The Kangaroo sips at his martini and the bartender, trying to make some conversation says: "we don't see many kangaroos in this place...." The kangaroo answers: "whaddaya expect with these prices..."

[Shawn Wilson]

A giraffe walks into a bar and says "Hey, everybody, high balls on me!".

So this baby seal walks into a club...

[mrcomp_ca]

At the risk of offending many...

Man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm.. looks at wife and says "this is the pig I sleep with when you have a headache".

Wife says "Idiot, that's a sheep"

"I was talking to the sheep"