When I went to the social security office to apply
for Social Security,
the woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's
license to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my
wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry but I seemed to
have left my wallet at home
and would have to come back later.
The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt."
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver
She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof
enough for me," and she
processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my
experience at the social security office.
She says, "You should have dropped your pants. You might
have gotten disability too."
"Remove the spot to reply"
Goodun. I'll see you and raise you one from today's email:
Working people frequently ask retired folks what they do to make their
I went to the store the other day. I was in there for only about five
minutes. When I came out there was a city cop writing out a parking
I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a senior
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.
I called him a name. He glared at me and started writing another
ticket for having worn tires.
So I called him a worse name. He finished the second ticket and put it
on the windshield with the first.
Then he started writing a third ticket.
This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him the more
tickets he wrote.
I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner and this one had a
"Kerry-Edwards" bumper sticker on it.
I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired.
It's important at our age.
Murphy was an Optimist
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With the spirit of the day here is another offering ....
A big Texan cowboy stopped at a local restaurant following a day of
drinking and roaming around in Mexico. While sipping his tequila, he
noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the
next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful.
He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?" The waiter replied,
"Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bull's testicles from
the bull fight this morning, a delicacy!" The cowboy, though momentarily
daunted, said, "What the heck, I'm on vacation down here! Bring me an
order!" The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor. There is only one
serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If
you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to save
you this delicacy"!
The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and then that
evening he was served the one and only special delicacy of the day.
After a few bites, and inspecting the contents of his platter, he called
to the waiter and said, "These are delicious, but they are much, much
smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday!"
The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si, Senor. Sometimes the
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