OT humor


As Bill Engvall would say, "Here's your Sign!"
I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my Labrador Retriever and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and I.V.s in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why I was in the hospital.
I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.
LMAO, I see you laughing, wipe the grin off your face. Ok don't, who could after that, is this stuff funny or what? Sorry could resist sharing this one with you all. Some things are better shared, this is one
mahalo,     jo4hn
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You sir, have an evil streak. I like that. ;-)
Good story.
+--------------------------------------------------------------------------------+ If you're gonna be dumb, you better be tough +--------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
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Oh god. This is a riot. I'm still laughing.
My mouth aches from laughing so much. Thanks for making my day, Jo4hn!
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"jo4hn" wrote in message

Git-r-done!
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Last update: 8/13/06
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What makes this even worse, back in the early 80's a survivalist group was touting food storage. They had such ideas as putting corn in containers and adding dry ice to create CO2 to preserve it and other such long term ideas. One of their methods for long term food storage was Purina dog chow complete with a recipe book which included burgers and "meat" loaf. They even suggested dropping Purina dog chow to people in areas hit with famine instead of sending them corn etc.. Needless to say I cracked up over this post.

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Actually, you are not far off from a REAL survival tip.
Agreed, some of those people went a bit far, but the nutrition is there. For long distance voyagers, especially the 'around-the-world-single-handed' sailors, having small, sealed, packages of dry dog food aboard is a recommendation.
The idea is that BECAUSE the idea and lack of taste is un-appealing, the sailor WON'T snack on it. It often happens that the compact 'emergency rations' are used up because it is easier, and handier, then actually cooking or preparing a meal from the stores. THEN, when they are ACTUALLY NEEDED . . .
Regards, Ron Magen Backyard Boatshop {'Milkbone' medium size are tasty, the bulk 'Mother Hubbard' brand large size are 'O.K.'}

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they were not bad, not good but not bad. One of the members in the group (a lawyer) wrote a novel called I believe "First Angel", based on the survival ideas that they were trying to get forth.
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wrote:

I now know where else you hang out. Same place I read that joke a couple of days ago. Hail Igor.
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LRod

Master Woodbutcher and seasoned termite
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This one has made its rounds for the last month or so.
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wrote:

The last 15 years or so....
-Zz
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[snipped a very funny joke]

WHICH reminds me...I know, I know....don't shoot me....
A dog was licking his balls. Two guys were passing by and watched this for a bit and one said: "I wish I could do that.." The other fella said: "well, you should probably pet him first ?"
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Dogs only lick their balls because they can.
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stop me ....
r
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