As Bill Engvall would say, "Here's your Sign!"
I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my Labrador Retriever
and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last
time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care
ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and I.V.s in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why I was in the
I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car
I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.
LMAO, I see you laughing, wipe the grin off your face. Ok don't, who
could after that, is this stuff funny or what? Sorry could resist
sharing this one with you all. Some things are better shared, this is one