How to fix it

[Un-believer]

Paraphrased from elsewhere.

There recently was an article in the daily rag The Business Section asked readers for ideas on: "How Would You Fix the Economy?" I think this bloke nailed it!

Dear Mr. Osbourne,

Please find below my suggestion for fixing Britain's economy. Instead of giving billions of pounds to companies that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the "Patriotic Retirement Plan":

There are some 20 million people over 50 in the work force. Pay them £1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire. Twenty million job openings - Unemployment fixed.

2) They MUST buy a new British car (or as near as damn it). Twenty million cars ordered - car industry fixed.

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - housing crisis fixed.

It can't get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of Parliament, bankers pay 'tax exiles' their taxes.

[geoff]

In message , Un-believer writes

If I retired, it would throw 6 people on the dole

Just done that

Just done that

do I get £666,667 for getting 2/3rds right?

[John Stumbles]

...

Shouldn't that be a million *Dollars* apeice? :-)

[jgharston]

Define "retire". There is no way I am going to allow somebody to forcably stop me doing that work that *I* want to do. In fact, I want to retire so I can get on with my work.

JGH

[Tabby]

Amusing maybe, but with 20 million thrown out of work the economy would fall apart. You might also find it hard getting political support for a proposal to pay them =A32000 billion. Indeed you might find it impossible to get that much money at any cost.

NT

[PeterC]

Being in employment is by far the best reason for refusing other work. Once 'retired' everybody thinks that you have nothing to do.

[GB]

Ahem. £20,000 billion (the way we currently calculate billion). Either way, that's roughly 20 years' GDP, so yes it would be impossible to find the money.

[Andrew Gabriel]

For future reference, which cars are those?

Needed a new washing machine a few months back. Would happily have paid a little extra for a UK-manufactured one (providing it wasn't crap), to help our economy rather than our balance of trade deficit. But there are none. Last to leave UK seems to have been Hotpoint's factory (and with my previous Hotpoint lasting about 25 years, spares being very cheap and easy to obtain, I would have been happy with another).

[Robin]

But there are in fact under 9 million over-50s who are economically active according to the most recent Labour Force Survey. So I've just reduced the price by more than half. Doesn't that make it a sure-fire bargain in the eyes of the average British idiot who'll just assume they can put it on their credit cards?

[whisky-dave]

Where are Dysons made now, most stores seem to be giving discounts on them

25% off at curry when trading in etc..,

Maybe a VAT of 10% on goods made in the UK might be an idea.

[Clive George]

Malaysia - rather a notorious move on their part.

[The Natural Philosopher]

Lotus?

Jaguar?

You wouldn't. a new hotpoint a few yers back lasted just three years..I have the 25 year old one still going.

[John Williamson]

Morgan.

TVR. (Russian owner, but last I heard the factory was till in Britain.)

Where are they making the AC Cobra nowadays?

Unless you mean *assembled* here, in which case Toyota, Honda and Nissan spring to mind.

[Huge]

There is no TVR factory any more. They went out of business several years ago. There have been many rumours about it restarting, almost always overseas, but IMO they are gone forever.

[John Williamson]

Shame, they were nice cars, if a tad exensive. There's a neat new logo up on the homepage, though.

[Huge]

For the amount of peformance, they were very inexpensive. That's likely one of the reasons why the factory went out of business.

I suppose I better own up. This is me;

[The Other Mike]

Suits me. Can I get a tax break on those two makes already in my current fleet?

[John Williamson]

That's not fair! Discussing stuff on usenet with actual knowledge. ;-)

Assuming that *is* you inside the helmet.....

[Huge]

Oh, it is.

[jgharston]

I seem to be so much busier this last year since I became unemployed than I ever was before...

JGH