Tree Roots Kill Man on Toilet

Wow, I found this article online and thought everyone should read it. This is scarey stuff.
----- August 26, 2005
Galesburg, Illinois
Getting tree roots in a sewer pipe is not uncommon, but in this case it was tragic. James Fuller had recently noticed his toilet and sinks were backing up in his home, and planned to call a plumber as soon as he got his paycheck. On Thursday. Fuller came home from work, and saw a note from his wife telling him the toilet had backed up again, and there was something that looked like roots in the toilet. His wife had gone to work at her third shift job. Apparently Fuller grabbed a beer and the newspaper and sat down on the toilet. Little did he know his name would soon be in that newspaper, listed in the obituaries.
When his wife returned from work early in the morning she was shocked at what she found. She found Fuller sitting on the toilet with the newspaper on his lap, and a half can of beer in his hand. She also found tree roots growing out of her husbands mouth, ears, and eye sockets. When the paramedics arrived, they were shocked to find the tree roots had come up from the bottom of the toilet, entered Fuller's rectum, and had grown up through his body and were hanging out of his bodily orfices. There was even a small root entering his penis. The paramedics had to use a chainsaw to remove Fuller's body from the toilet. Fuller was pronounced dead when he arrived at the hospital emergency room. The cause of death was internal bleeding due to the tree roots penetrating and puncturing his internal organs.
The paramedics said they have never seen anything like this. The coroner, when questioned, said the roots entered Fuller's rectum to get a fresh source of nourishment, and stated that they had grown at least six feet in a few hours. He further stated that the beer further attracted the roots, causing a chemical reaction from the alcohol, and inducing rapid growth.
This matter is being investigated by the Federal Bureau of Investigation.
The Galesburg Gazette By John R. Pullman
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WTF? This has to be a crock of shit.
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So the tree came from the "little shop of horrors" ?
Is this a gardening ? or a plumbing question ?
AMUN
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What Kind of tree roots were they??
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Kudzu might do it.

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Walter R. wrote:

Or willow...
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BAM-BOO!
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Uh, if they grew into his anus, wouldn't they be "BUM-boo"
AMUN
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ROTFLMAO!!!! Tooooo funny!!

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lawrencesmithNOSPAM@aol..com, 8/30/2005,

This is what happens when you sit on the toilet too long. Other than that, it's a pretty good bullshit story.
--
"Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at
them." -- Jimmy DeMaret
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lawrencesmithNOSPAM@aol..com wrote:

His wife probably killed him in cohoots with the paramedics. Likely they vacationing on the mans life insurance now.
--
Respectfully,


CL Gilbert
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Call Mulder & Sculley now...
lawrencesmithNOSPAM@aol..com wrote:

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The article probably came from the Weekly World News.
some random words that came up with:

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