OT Homeless

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wrote:

I think his natural mother is alive, but is a drug abuser. He was not staying with her.
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Drug abusers tend to be neglectful parents. The kids are emotionaly deprived, and are a real handful. Might be more than you can fix? . Christopher A. Young Learn more about Jesus www.lds.org . .
I think his natural mother is alive, but is a drug abuser. He was not staying with her.
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On Friday, July 12, 2013 9:51:02 PM UTC-7, nestork wrote:

That's all on the positive side of the military.
There is another side.
HB

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Sadly, with the sequester and the withdrawal from AfRaq things aren't looking good for new hires or the newly retired. I believe the Pentagon is scheduled to cut 80,000 positions so tham means they can be pretty selective now about who they hire, which they are when they can afford to be.
Even worse is that vets represent a very high proportion of the nation's homeless.
http://www.nbcnews.com/id/21678030/ns/us_news-military/t/out-uniform-street/
<<Veterans make up one in four homeless people in the United States, though they are only 11 percent of the general adult population, according to a report to be released Thursday.>>

Funny you should mention that because my wife's working with a Vet's group on a case that involves a well-trained AF mechanic whose skills are *not* readily transferrable because working on maintainence requires specific airframe certification so working on a F22 doesn't mean a lot to the airlines. Beyond that, much aircraft mechanical and maintainence work (as I understand it) is now done largely offshore by contractors in countries with lower wages.
https://www.hsdl.org/?view&didr9477
<<With foreign labor costs less than 50% of those in the U.S., it is easy to see that many air carriers have shifted their HMV (heavy maintenance visits) to overseas providers, with estimated savings at $1 million per aircraft each year.... In 2008, starting pay at Aeroman [an MRO provider in El Salvador] was approximately $4,500 per year with veterans earning approximately $15,000. That compares to the U.S. average of $52,000.... Narrow body HMV work tends to stay in the Western Hemisphere, with MRO providers in Central America playing a significant role; lower labor costs and shorter ferry flights contribute to cost savings.>>
There was a time, like you, I would have said "join up" but vets are having such a hard time reintegrating into civilian society these days that I don't see the future I used to see in a military life. Funds for retraining and reintegrating former soldiers into society were among the first to go in the cutbacks.
I have a friend whose recent HS graduate son is holed up in his room playing video games and she's about to start charging rent and board to at least encourage him to go to community college. She's at a loss to figure out how to motivate him. I wish I had an answer for Metzspitzer but I haven't been able to help my own friends. This post-crash generation of kids seems to be really adrift. Unemployment among unskilled young people is much higher than the national average. That true of veterans, too.
--
Bobby G.





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I know Ed only through his Usenet posts. That said, what I've read over the last several years, I've greatly respected. It's not a warm fuzzy post this time, but I do agree with Ed. From what you, Metspitzer, wrote, it sounds like the boy is unmotivated, and has more problems than you can fix by connecting him with a program. Is he lean and mean enough to join the military? Maybe he needs a short DI with attitude and flat brimmed hat? . Christopher A. Young Learn more about Jesus www.lds.org . .
wrote:

Thanks
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On 7/13/2013 7:51 AM, Stormin Mormon wrote:

Like what Dave Ramsey said the other day that he believes in a safety net but not a hammock.
The safety net gives shelter and prevents starvation, the hammock satisfies all wants.
This is what our entitlement society has become with not enough incentive to help yourself.
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I think Ross Perot used that line "too many people using the safety net as a hammock". Hear, hear! . Christopher A. Young Learn more about Jesus www.lds.org . .
Like what Dave Ramsey said the other day that he believes in a safety net but not a hammock.
The safety net gives shelter and prevents starvation, the hammock satisfies all wants.
This is what our entitlement society has become with not enough incentive to help yourself.
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Sounds like Metspitzer, the OP should write to the list, and tell us what the boy has done on his own behalf. I share Ed's sense, that the OP is sincere and caring. I've spent several decades "helping" people, only to end up in total frustration. As they didn't really want help, and rejected everything as fast as I could do for them. People leave "free stuff" out in the rain, gets lost, stolen, sold for money, they don't show up for work and get fired, and the list goes on. . Christopher A. Young Learn more about Jesus www.lds.org . .
Why did they ask him to leave? Let me guess, he did nothing around the house to help, he did nothing to help himself better his position. He thinks he should get everything for free.
I have a relative in a similar situation. He lived with us for a while but finally moved out. He has friends in similar situations. They have very little ambition and can't keep a job if they do get one.

My suggestion is to stop feeling sorry for the kid and let him take his lumps. The guy I'm talking about agreed to do some work for me to make some money. That was last summer. This weekend I'm going to finish one of the jobs he started but never completed.
I wish you good luck, but if your situation is anything like mine, He really does not want "help", he just wants you to do everything for him.
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On Friday, July 12, 2013 11:41:31 PM UTC-4, Ed Pawlowski wrote:

I'm thinking along your lines. Employment situation isn't the same everywhere, but here in NJ I see signs up at fast food restaurants, supermarkets, etc all the time looking for help. Lowes just opened their first Lowes Express store in the country two miles from my house and they were hiring. Those aren't jobs you can support a family on, but for someone sleeping on someone's couch, they put money in your pocket. And after a few weeks, enough to be able to rent a room somewhere.
I have a friend who runs a golf car business. He tells me all the time how they place adds for laborers, mechanics, etc. They get people who come in for the interview, but when they find out the jobs don't pay what they used to make somewhere else, they choose to stay on unemployment and know all the tricks to be able to do so.
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On 7/12/2013 10:41 PM, Ed Pawlowski wrote:

You know, there are people who provide foster care solely for the money. When the money stops coming in, the kid is no longer welcome to stick around. I have a relative whose mother had a houseful of foster kids along with her own; it was her primary source of income. For all we know, this kid was kicked out simply because his caretakers wouldn't or couldn't feed and house him at their own expense.

My youngest sister has a house full of 'throwaway' teenagers, along with her own two kids. These are kids whose parents are world-class fuckups or just plain abusive - but the kids are good kids. Her children got to know them at school and brought them home to visit. The throwaways live with her family most or all of the time because their parents either can't or won't take care of them - but they won't relinquish them to foster care, either. So my sister and her husband are unofficial foster parents and raise the kids as their own, at their own expense.
Two of the kids will be starting college this fall, including one who was recently reclaimed by his mother, who met a guy on the internet and impulsively decided she and her son had to move to Texas right away to live with her new boyfriend. Of course, once they showed up on his doorstep he wanted nothing to do with either of them. The mom had no money left and no place to go. The kid was frantic, because he'd been accepted to a college back home and knew he had no future in Texas beyond living on the streets. My sister bought him a bus ticket and he left his mom and came back 'home'.
One of her previous throwaways actually auditioned for and was accepted to Ringling Bros. clown college several years ago. That's what he always wanted to do, so she drove him to Wisconsin where he passed the audition. Now he works for the circus, of all things.
Sometimes the kids are screwups, but just as often it is that they are being raised by parents who don't give a damn about them and never did.
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snip
Interesting and heartwarming story Moe. Thanks for relating it.
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What caused you to blow a fuse? I'm guessing there is a lot more to this story.
Would it be possible for kid to stand around near the illegal Mexican kids at the local "labor pool" and pick up work there?
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I just learned today that a friend of my nephew (who is staying with me) CY: Hmm. Kid is staying with you for how long?
is homeless. CY: Naah, he's in YOUR home.
The friend stayed here for 3 weeks before I blew a fuse and insisted that my nephew took him home. CY: Blew a fuse, why? What did he do?
It was only after the boy left did I discover he was homeless. CY: Naah, he's living with YOU.
He was getting a check from the government until he turned 18 and the people he was staying with made him leave. CY: Same reason as your blown fuse?
I understand that the kid was working at a fast food place, but his car blew the engine. CY: Most engines blow from lack of motor oil. Neglect.
He did just graduate from school. I understand that the people he was staying with also let him finish school before they asked him to leave. CY: Be nice to know WHY they asked.....
I have suggested he contact some churches. I also suggested that he try to get a job and pay coworkers to take him to and from "home". CY: And, so he took your suggestions? Please tell us.
He does have quite a few kids from school that he can rely on for a short while. CY: And he's probably very good at that, too. Got three weeks in your home, some how.
I googled "help for the homeless" and got...... http://portal.hud.gov/hudportal/HUD?src=/program_offices/comm_planning/ homeless
Since I do not have any personal information about the boy, I could not apply for anything listed. I suggested my nephew suggest the site to the friend and let him do the applying. CY: Now you're getting the idea.
Just from going to the site, it becomes pretty clear there is some huge red tape and frustration on finding out what the kid would qualify for.
I think he is willing to work and I do not suspect the kid is on drugs, but I really don't know. CY: You had him "in custody" for three weeks. That's long enough to tell if he's willing to work, or if he's a lazy butt video game and sofa kind of boy. You had 21 days of observation.
It does seem like a pretty bad situation when you have no way to get to work and no place to stay. BTW his home city and friends are around 45 miles from here and it is a really small town. CY: How'd he get there? What's he doing about it?
Any other suggestions on how the kid could get help?
CY: From someone other than Metspitzer, maybe?
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wrote:

For an unskilled job, he might be better off finding one he can walk to, or take a public bus if there is one. He can save his friends' favors for other things, and won't be late because something kept his friend from coming.
I used to see signs for work around here, when the unemployment rate was higher than it is now. I don't think I've seen many lately, but if he dresses okay and is polite, he can ask employers who aren't looking. I did that when I was young and he told me to come back in a week or two. I did and he hired me at 50% more than I was making at the other job.
Did he do chores at your house? Did he offer to? Did anyone explain to him that he should? They say that growing up is hard to do. Now I know, I know that it's true.
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Metspitzer wrote:

So he's homeless because his car is shot and he can't get to work? Are there busses? Can he walk? As you said, he could pay coworkers for rides. Even if his family is in a small town, he could still go home for a while; and while there, he could do odd jobs - mow lawns, dig ditches, wash cars, wash dogs, whatever - to accumulate some money. There are always jobs if one looks and is reliable.
His situation isn't all that unusual for someone starting out. Main thing is, he needs to work. He needs to rent a room somewhere close enough to his work so that he doesn't have to rely on a car to get to<>from work. Matter of fact, he probably shouldn't have a car until he is more solvent; a car - any car - costs about $500 a month to own. If he doesn't have the money to rent a room he will have to sponge until he gets a paycheck; that or convince the landlord to rent to him and let him pay when he gets the first paycheck.
Once he is ensconsed and has a source of income, he needs to live frugally for a while and save money. He also needs to improve himself via night school or other so that he can get the skills to get a better job. Once he does, he needs to repeat the process.
Mainly, he needs to develop self reliance; what he doesn't need is a handout.
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Sounds reasonable.
I'd suggest he isn't homeless, he's transient. Short term stays in many different places. . Christopher A. Young Learn more about Jesus www.lds.org . .
This sounds like a kid who was in foster care and "aged out". That means the state no longer pays the foster parents for his support.
Alabama has a lot of less than affluent areas and some folks take in kids to help them but can't afford to help without that stipend.
Tell the kid to contact DHR to see what assistance is available.
Start here. http://dhr.alabama.gov/quicklinks/Ph_Nos.aspx
They can give him some guidance.
Frankly, I am bothered by a lot of responders here whose approach is to blame the kid.
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wrote:

Thanks
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That is because we have real life experience with kids exactly as described. Want to adapt a couple of them? I'll provide the names and addresses. .
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On Friday, July 12, 2013 11:02:30 PM UTC-4, Metspitzer wrote:

you should reconsider throwing him out with strict rules to prevent a reoccurence of whatever made you blow a fuse.......
lets imagine for a moment the kid while homeless dies, will YOU for the remainder of your life regret throwing him out?
I believe in trying to help people.
When I was a child my family refused to help a realtive, who they believed was wealthy. after we found him dead just weeks later it turned out he had no money, and although inconvenient if we had helped him it would of been good for us too.....
I strongly believe in what goes around comes around:)
the world would be a far better place if more people lended a helping hand
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wrote:

I have just taken on having my sister, my nephew and my niece moving in with me. I really feel sorry for my nephew's friend, but I am spread too thin to take any more.
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