.... I was just thinkin' .........


The other day, I was in the bathroom, and I noticed that all of the toilet paper on the roll was in a twisted pile on the floor. Darn that cat! Spent the better part of my visit rerolling paper, and it's hard to do where I have the dispenser. Got so twisted up, I had to return half an hour later to finish what I went in there to do.
Then the other day, I was in there doing some serious reading, and the roll started to unroll all on its own from the weight of the paper hanging there. I watched as long as I could stand it, knowing I would have to roll all that up. And I was starting to hear the first few notes from "Twilight Zone."
What's up with that? Is it a conspiracy by the companies to get this product to self consume when not used, like cigarettes? Modern cigarettes burn if you don't smoke them, but old ones would go out if you don't puff them. The self consuming aspect was engineered into the product. Is this the same?
Or is this defective? Not enough animal intestine mucous glue in there to cause it to stick together only slightly enough to keep it from freerolling? And if it is a defect, could there be others? Like maybe the rat poison or melamine petroleum distillates they have found in pet foods lately. I mean, I get pretty intimate with this stuff, and I don't want my business falling off.
Is this just me? Anyone else have this experience? Is this safe?
Steve
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You must have one of those Swiss made, $470 Sonoma imported, TPP "Toilet Paper Processor" mounted on needle bearings. Or the $640 deluxe model with air bearing.
It is incredible how small a leader it takes to unbalance, and once the unraveling is started is a self sustaining process. The motive force increases and the resisting inertial moment decrease.
Mauro
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You got one, too, huh? The thing that really makes me mad is that someone did this on purpose, or some engineer at a toilet paper factory was a graduate of an Internet diploma mill, and missed it completely, and has a paycheck higher than mine.
And yeah, yer right. The speed increases the farther down the roll it gets until the brake kicks in. But that's only on the Swiss model.
Steve
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That was the first miracle attributed to Our Lady of Perpetual Motion.
Gunner
"Try thinking of the Libertarian Party as a rolled-up newspaper, useful in making the Republican puppy (I've given up on the Democratic bitch) go where he's supposed to -- not on that beautiful antique carpet we call the Constitution." -- L. Neil Smith, Bill Clinton's Reichstag Fire
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wrote:

There's those "institutional" rollers that make it really hard to unroll more than about 2 sheets at a time.
--
Mark Lloyd
http://notstupid.laughingsquid.com
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All the companies I worked for have the "institutional" rollers. I always thought it was a decision made by upper management to save on TP cost by reducing availability.
Funny though, the TP is a narrow gauge type and is of monatomic thickness. Instead of the usual triple fold, I always do a hex fold twice with 50% overlap. Not much saving in that.
Mauro
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Isn't that the way... wait till they issue a TP ration every morning.
--

Christopher A. Young
You can\'t shout down a troll.
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On Tue, 3 Apr 2007 22:05:34 -0400, "Stormin Mormon"

Save TP - use both sides!
--
"How could you ask me to believe in God when there\'s
absolutely no evidence that I can see?" -- Jodie Foster
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wrote:

My Dad, who was born in 1918 was a thrifty miser. He used two sheets of toilet paper at a time, folded. I never could figure that out. I think it was from growing up through the Depression, but, HEY POP THE DEPRESSION'S OVER.
I, on the other hand, use as much as I deem necessary, and buy the refrigerator sized packs on sale.
Steve
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wrote:

During WW2 in Italy there was shortage of everything including paper. As a joke and as a tepid sarcasm directed to Mussolini, the story goes that the party issued instructions on how to recycle the standard street car thicket: a piece of paper about 1.25"x2".
First fold in half and tear out from the fold a semicircular section 0.5" diameter in the center. Save the 1/2" confetto for later. Slip your middle finger through the hole cut in the center of the ticket and wipe yourself. Slip out the paper cleaning the finger and wrapping the brown stuff into the paper. Refold the circular piece into a quadrant and clean under the finger nail with the pointy part.
We (Italians) lost the war. Well, technically we did not loose, we hanged Mussolini and the provisional government welcomed the American liberators.
Mauro
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On Tue, 03 Apr 2007 19:21:30 -0500, Mark Lloyd

Crom but I hate those!!! Rest stops, Jack in the Box...they all have that huge freaking roll that is rigged so you cant get enough paper to wipe a puppies ass...
Gunner
"Try thinking of the Libertarian Party as a rolled-up newspaper, useful in making the Republican puppy (I've given up on the Democratic bitch) go where he's supposed to -- not on that beautiful antique carpet we call the Constitution." -- L. Neil Smith, Bill Clinton's Reichstag Fire
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Mark Lloyd wrote:

"realy hard" ? I'd say more like DA*N near impossible. :-) ...lew...
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On Wed, 04 Apr 2007 22:49:39 GMT, Lew Hartswick

I do know someone who found it easier to wipe with the curtain.
BTW, you might notice how much "DA*N" looks like "DRM".
--
Mark Lloyd
http://notstupid.laughingsquid.com
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So, you go in and they dope you up, and you see if you wake up alive or dead. That's simple.
Welll, I know it's a source of stress. Best luck for surgery. Time to call the religious folks from your group for their sickness ceremony. Whichever brand of God you follow.
--

Christopher A. Young
You can\'t shout down a troll.
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He made me. He sent me here. I'll answer to Him. I see no need of middlemen.
Steve
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Amen ;) Committees of Correspondence Web page: www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/5357/
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wrote:

Dibs on your Syncrowave!!
Ah..er..if something untowards happens of course..which is rare..really really rare, hardly ever turns to shit..nearly never..least..the hospitals dont report it that way....
My ex-wife had a 3 way done a few years ago. She is still a worthless bitch, but a fairly healthy one.
Gunner
"Try thinking of the Libertarian Party as a rolled-up newspaper, useful in making the Republican puppy (I've given up on the Democratic bitch) go where he's supposed to -- not on that beautiful antique carpet we call the Constitution." -- L. Neil Smith, Bill Clinton's Reichstag Fire
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Steve B wrote:

What, did you put precision instrument ball bearings in the TP roller tube? You could hang an 8 Oz weight on the end of our TP and it wouldn't unroll. I've certainly never seen this hapen before!
Jon
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