Humor: About retirees


Retirement ! Question: How many days in a week? Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday
Question: When is a retiree's bedtime? Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.
Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees? Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.
Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors? Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount.
Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire? Answer: Tied shoes.
Question: Why do retirees count pennies? Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.
Question: What is the common term for a senior who still works and refuses to retire? Answer: NUTS!
Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage? Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there. Or move back in there . . .
Question: What do retirees call a long lunch? Answer: Normal .
Question: What is the best way to describe retirement? Answer: The never ending Coffee Break…spiked !
Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree? Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.
Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he worked with? Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.
And, my very favorite.... QUESTION: What do you do all week? Answer: Monday through Friday, NOTHING..... Saturday & Sunday, I rest.
Add pictures here
βœ–
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

he he he he he They've worked, so now is their time to enjoy retirement.
Add pictures here
βœ–
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

Dunno, I retired five years ago and for the next nine months I worked my ass off. I finally got the whole concept of the "retirement" thing and gave it up to go back to work. I'll probably try it again in another five. ;-)
Add pictures here
βœ–
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
On 1/22/2012 4:24 PM, snipped-for-privacy@att.bizzzzzzzzzzzz wrote:

Lemme guess, with your cheerful attitude, you're a Walmart greeter?
Add pictures here
βœ–
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
On Sun, 22 Jan 2012 17:29:51 -0500, Betelgeuse

Hardly. Just too lazy to retire. ;-)
Add pictures here
βœ–
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
HeyBub wrote:

I really like that one.
--
Tony Sivori
Due to spam, I'm filtering all Google Groups posters.
  Click to see the full signature.
Add pictures here
βœ–
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
On Sunday, January 22, 2012 5:25:46 PM UTC-7, Tony Sivori wrote:

You'll be sorry you did that. ==
Add pictures here
βœ–
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
Roy wrote:

I'll be sorry I liked a joke?
--
Tony Sivori
Due to spam, I'm filtering all Google Groups posters.
  Click to see the full signature.
Add pictures here
βœ–
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

Re: Question: How many days in a week? Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday
Pre-retirees often think that they'll need less money to live on once they retire. You know, the old adage of 80% of your current salary.
Then someone asks them: What if every day was Saturday?
They tends to alter their thinking.
Add pictures here
βœ–
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
On Sun, 22 Jan 2012 16:28:13 -0800 (PST), DerbyDad03

That is one reason I'm still working. I'd not only want 100% of my salary, I'd want more since I'd have more time to travel or build things.
I'm also one of the few people that can honestly say I like my job. I have it made.
Add pictures here
βœ–
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

The other thing that many pre-retirees think is that they're expenses will go down once they get older and stop traveling and having fun.
They don't realize that the cost of that trip to Italy is going to be replaced with the cost of health care via more prescriptions and trips to the doctor/hospital.
Add pictures here
βœ–
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
On Mon, 23 Jan 2012 07:02:27 -0800 (PST), DerbyDad03

Between Medicare, a good supplement and prescription plan, our cost is $600 a month. If I retire, I pay it all.
Add pictures here
βœ–
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
How much sleep does a retiree need?
8 hours a day .....10 at night.
Add pictures here
βœ–
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

HomeOwnersHub.com is a website for homeowners and building and maintenance pros. It is not affiliated with any of the manufacturers or service providers discussed here. All logos and trade names are the property of their respective owners.