"...A passing motorist on Organ Church Road called 911 Monday morning
after seeing what appeared to be a bloody body pinned under a lawn
The motorist is an idiot.
I've been putting "a bloody body" under my lawnmower for over a decade
and no one has ever thought it was real. They also never called 911
for the body crushed by my garage door.
Besides, if you think there's are real body under a lawnmower, get out
of the d*mn car and see if you can help. Don't be a "passing
motorist", be a first responder.
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