Only 10 virgins??

[Diogenes]

Sorry, just could not resist this wonderful piece by a Saudi cleric, posted on the Web site of MEMRI.org.

Enough to make a guy convert... or...?

Diogenes ===================================================

"When We Meet the Black-Eyed Virgin"

Omar Al-Sweilem: "Harith Ibn Al-Muhasibi told us what would happen when we meet the black-eyed virgin with her black hair and white face ? praised be He who created night and day.

"What hair! What a chest! What a mouth! What cheeks! What a figure! What breasts! What thighs! What legs! What whiteness! What softness! Without any creams ? no Nivea, no Vaseline. No nothing!"

"You Would Find 10 Black-Eyed Virgins Sprawled on Musk Cushions"

"He said that faces would be soft that day. Even your own face will be soft without any powder or makeup. You yourself will be soft, so how soft will a black-eyed virgin be, when she comes to you so tall and with her beautiful face, her black hair and white face ? praised be He who created night and day. Just feel her palm, Sheikh!

"He said: How soft will a fingertip be, after being softened in paradise for thousands of years! There is no god but Allah. He told us that if you entered one of the palaces, you would find 10 black-eyed virgins sprawled on musk cushions. Where is Abu Khaled? Here, he has arrived!

"When they see you, they will get up and run to you. Lucky is the one who gets to put her thumb in your hand. When they get hold of you, they will push you onto your back, on the musk cushions. They will push you onto your back, Jamal! Allah Akbar! I wish this on all people present here.

"He said that one of them would place her mouth on yours. Do whatever you want.

"Another one would press her cheek against yours, yet another would press her chest against yours, and the others would await their turn. There is no god but Allah."

"Wine in Paradise is a Reward for Your Good Deeds"

"He told us that one black-eyed virgin would give you a glass of wine. Wine in Paradise is a reward for your good deeds. The wine of this world is destructive, but not the wine of the world to come."

=======================================

[paghat]

[clip nice story]

An Islamic tale of the nature of the foremost Virgin, Fatima, has her hovering as a powerful spirit over the greaet banquet table where humanity gathers to be judged. With Her great whirling sword, Ayesha cleaves through the banqueters, until only the righteous remain. I think we can all rest assured this is the one & only virgin ever to be seen by the eternally doomed souls of suicide bombers & pretend-martyrs generally.

Can't help but think the Catholics' Virgin of Fatima is somehow related to the Islamic Virgin, as both were associated with warfare & death, & the Virgin of Fatima likewise was associated with a flaming sword, though not personally its barer as in the Islamic tale.

Variants of the banquet story exist in judaic mysticism, too, as many medieval kabbalists spoke Arabic, & in days of better relations were deeply influencing each others religious thought. In judaism, instead of Fatima, it's the Divine Shekhinah who is mistress of the whirling sword (same sword mentioned in Genesis as guarding the road to the Tree of Life; the angel baring it is presumedly the Shekhinah Herself).

Instead of a thanksgiving turkey, at the Final Banquet they'll be roasting Behemoth. Sounds too porkish for my tastes, so I hope they have some Tofumoth for some of us. Some say the feast will be of Leviathan, & I do sometimes eat fish. If it turns out to be whale, though, I might be asking around about where the bad people went and what they're eating. Could turn out to be Kraft macaroni & cheese, I mean think of that every day in hell for eternity, but at least it's not a whale.

-paghat the ratgirl

[Billy]

The one I liked was told by Desmond Tutu. He said he had a dream where he died and went to meet his fate. At St. Peters gate an angel took him and to other men to a door, inside was a wretched hag. The Angle turned to the first man and said."Because of the way you lead your life, you will spend eternity with this woman". Leaving the man they went to the next door, where a malodorous, wretched hag sat. Turning to the second man, the angle said,"Because of the way you lead your life, you will spend eternity with this woman". The Angel lead Desmond Tutu away to a third door. Inside the door was a young Bridgette Bardot. Desmond Tutu was stunned. Turning to Bridgette Bardot the angle said."Because of the way you have lived your life . . . .