lawn winterize

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To winterize or not to winterize lawn
"Winterize your lawn", the big sign outside the garden store commanded. I've fed it, watered it, mowed it, raked it and watched a lot of it die away. Now I'm supposed to winterize it? I hope it's too late. Grass lawns have to be the stupidest thing we've come up with outside of a thong swimsuits! We constantly battle dandelions, Queen's lace, thistle, violets, chicory and clover that thrive naturally, so we can grow grass that must be nursed through an annual four-step chemical dependency.
Imagine the conversation The Creator might have with St. Francis about this:
"Frank you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there in the Midwest? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracted butterflies, honeybees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But all I see are these green rectangles."
" It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites.
They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to great extent to kill them and replace them with grass".
" Grass? But its so boring. Its not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees, Only grubs and sod worms. Its' temperamental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that green grass growing there?
" Apparently so, Lord, They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poising any other plant that crops up in the lawn".
" The spring rains and cool weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy".
" Not exactly, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it-sometimes twice a week".
" They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?"
" Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags."
" They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?"
" No, sir. Just the opposite. They pay to throw it away".
" Now let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?"
" Yes, sir."
" These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work."
" You aren't going to believe this Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it."
" What nonsense! At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius,
if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty an d shade in the summer . In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket
to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life."
" You better sit down, Lord. The suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and have them hauled away."
" No! What do they do to protect the shrub and the tree roots in the winter and keep the soil moist and loose?"
" After throwing away your leaves, they go out and buy something they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in the place of leaves."
" and where do they get this mulch?"
" They cut down trees and grind them up."
"Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. Saint Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?"
" Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It's a real stupid movie about.
" Never mind I think I just heard the whole story."
anonymous
--
Sincerely,
John A. Keslick, Jr.
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symplastless wrote:

this is precious, simply precious...
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Yeah. I have seen that several times over the years and there is so much truth to it. I see that the annual 'what to use to bag leaves' threads have started over alt.home.repair. Even after they have been told the simple way is to mow/mulch em, they still go on about buying fancy equipment to vacuum them up.
Harry K
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Harry K wrote:

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[flup set to a.h.l.g.]
do snipped-for-privacy@do.com said:

Maybe wait until spring until they're only a six inch layer? ;)
--

Eggs

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
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Eggs Zachtly wrote:

authoritative override TM product of JimWare...

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Feel blessed. Mow, rake, and compost.
--
FB - FFF

Billy

Get up, stand up, stand up for yor rights.
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On Oct 7, 3:17 pm, do snipped-for-privacy@do.com wrote:

Raise the mower deck and mow away. Would take several passes but when done the leaves will have disappeared...or rather what shows will disapear in a few days. I haven't done 3ft but have done 1 ft.
Methinks you exagerate a bit with the 3 foot layer.
You want to waste your time and valuable soil amendment by raking, bagging and thowing away, be my guest but don't knock a sensible method of dealing with leaves.
Harry K Harry K
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Harry K wrote:

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do snipped-for-privacy@do.com wrote:

I wait for the North wind to blow them into my neighbor's yard.
--
Those who can make you believe absurdities
can make you commit atrocities -- Voltaire
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Assuming you're unable to mow them into oblivion*, you could try a rake. It's a relatively new invention, so, like when CD players first became available, you might have to get on a waiting list. No matter what anyone tells you, you can rake & bag as fast as or faster than with a leaf blower.
* Yes, there are situations where you can't use the mower to grind up the leaves.
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JoeSpareBedroom wrote:

yea and I'll be glad when they invent a better muffler for that loud thing called a rake. <g>

I laughed until it hurt watching a city boy take a bagging mower into a flower bed.
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JoeSpareBedroom wrote:

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Argue what? That there are situations where a mower won't handle the leaves? I'm listening.
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JoeSpareBedroom wrote:

problem either.
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Right. Some mowers have limits as to what they'll mulch. And then, there's the infamous confluence of factors that's sometimes unavoidable, like when my neighbor's sycamore decides to dump all its leaves at 3:00 PM, followed by rain at 4:00 PM, lasting for the next 3 days, with heavy winds that shlep even more leaves from the other neighbors' yards. When every square yard contains 4 bushels of wet leaves, my mower says "Yeah...right".
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JoeSpareBedroom wrote:

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Yep. Wet leaves won't mow-mulch for crap. I even have a birch tree that I swear drops green leaves. They don't chop up well either but I do it.
Harry K
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