Here is one I like:
1.5 WHAT SHOULD I DO WHEN I SEE A POST I DON'T LIKE?
First, and most importantly, you should take offence. Obviously the
author is an insensitive bastard who is hell-bent on hurting your
feelings. He is an arrogant asshole who deserves much worse than he
will ever receive. Others may tell you that the guy was "just having
a bad day," or that he "didn't mean anything by it," but don't you
believe it. Remain steadfast and do not waver in your efforts to get
even with the idiot.
Rant and rave, but be sure to do so publicly, by posting to the group
rather than by sending e-mail. Otherwise, how will anyone else know
what a jerk the other guy is? Don't hold back, and don't let up until
you receive satisfaction, or until the thread has reached 100 articles
in length, whichever comes first. Telling someone how stupid they are
is called a "flame." If you read a flame, please respond to it, even
if you have no interest whatsoever in the issue at hand. This makes
the newsgroup much more lively and interesting to read.
If you find yourself in the middle of a flame war and attacked from
all sides with nobody supporting you, just give yourself some support.
It's easy. Just change the email address in your newsreading software
and write a bunch of posts under assumed names. Nobody will notice and
it will give added credibility to your position.
If you see a spelling mistake, grammatical error, or typo, post a
reply with the offending error underlined with carets (circumflex
accents to those who studied French, the thingie above the "6" key for
the rest of you ignorami). Make sure you question the original
poster's intelligence and woodworking ability in your post. If he/she
can't spell, can he/she be trusted with a table saw or a plane without
spilling blood all over the place? This is the only helpful way to
deal with errors in grammar and spelling and educating the original
poster, while avoiding the shedding of blood.
BTW the correct spelling accepted in rec.woodworking for some words
are joiner, planner, hobbiest, radio alarm saw
*read the whole thing here:*