The National Grid!!

[tony sayer]

Who had that old ditty??

"The National Grid it came to pass. Its wires were made of Brass.

In windy weather they'd smash together And sparks flew out of its arse:!

[Chris Hogg]

There was a man from Madras Whose balls were made of brass In windy weather etc

[John Rumm]

Another reason why they prefer "ABC"s (Aerial Bundled Cable/Conductor) these days.

[The Natural Philosopher]

""To enable our engineers to safely repair equipment, we had to temporarily interrupt power to approximately 400 customers at about

18:30 and their power was restored by 19:40," he said.

"We are sorry for any inconvenience caused."

*21 Sep 2018* " ^^^^^^^^^^^^^

[The Natural Philosopher]

In days of old When knights were bold And paper wasn't invented One wiped one's arse Upon the grass And went away, contented.

[Brian Gaff (Sofa 2)]

I think Leo, was verbose beyond belief. As for the grid, I don't think they are made of brass, terminals sometimes are. Brian

[Martin Brown]

The one above has one or more cables too slack and are actually touching producing much bigger and brighter sparks. I am a bit surprised that the circuit breaker didn't trip after a while with that sort of abuse.

It used to happen to us before they swapped the vertical formerly insulated copper wires for modern aluminium composite single cable.

The sparks in our case were caused by pieces of wet insulation flapping about in the breeze and shorting adjacent now mostly bare wire phases. The wire tension was OK but with mostly bare wires and wet strips of insulation hanging off every time the wind blew it would arc and spark.

Free fireworks!

[williamwright]

But arse and grass don't rhyme, at least not round 'ere.

Reminds me of Listen With Mother when I were a kid. Arch home counties female: "Ride a c*ck horse to Banbury Crorse" Doncaster child: "What's a crorse, Mam? Mam: It's how they say cross down theer. So it rhymes with 'oss. Child: Crorse don't rhyme with 'oss! Mam: Oh shurrup and eat thi lard sandwich.

Bill

[Tim Streater]

As John Wayne would say: It do!

[John Rumm]

Does this work north of Essex?

There once was a maid from Madras, Who had a magnificent ass, Not round and pink and one might think, buy it was grey, long ears, ate grass.

[The Natural Philosopher]

There once was a maid from Madras, Who had a magnificent ass, Not round and pink (as one might think), but grey, with long ears, and ate grass.

There. Fixed the typos and the scanning and the grammar.

[Chris Hogg]

Any number of rude limericks here

[Tim Lamb]

Is this a new year resolution?

>

[John Rumm]

Why thank you... shame you can't manage it on most of your own posts eh ;-)

[Andy Bennet]

Dunno, does this?

The was a young lady from Tottenham Who 'ad no manners or else 'ad forgotten 'em. At tea at the vicars she ripped of 'er knickers, because, she explained, she felt 'ot in 'em.

[The Natural Philosopher]

I thought it worth it on account of the literary merit...

I got a prize age 9 for writing doggerel. I can only remember the first couplet. "Down in the jungle where nobody goes I met a lady without any clothes."

My headmaster was hugely amused.

[Cynic]

Reminds me of attending Cookson College in Leeds many years ago. Alternate floors had gents toilets on the landings. Floors 3, 5 and above the toilet walls were a mine of poetic talent.

[newshound]

And a nod to the late Terry Jones

There was a young fellow from Brighton Who said to his girl "You're a tight 'un" She replied "Poor soul, you are in the wrong hole There's plenty of room in the right one"