Sizism - Short-arsed DIYers are a f*king liability

[Java Jive]

As already indicated, I'm not particularly happy about this kitchen. Doubtless many who saw it and the wider house, would think: "What's he moaning about, should think himself lucky!", and, to an extent at least, they'd be right. But I look at this kitchen and see a triumph of looks and fashion over rational functionality. It's the interior design equivalent of a blonde-out-of-a-bottle bimbo.

Sitting back the other day and wondering what to do about it, my eye fell on the extractor hood over the cooker. "F*king useless contraption", I thought, remembering that my mother had had one installed in her house in Cambridge, and that periodically we were supposed to take the charcoal filters out of it and bake them in the oven to burn off all the accumulated gunge. Of course, this made the house stink for days anyway, negating the whole purpose of it. "It's not as though anyone these days bothers to pressure-cook a chicken carcase to make stock, the way Ma did", my thoughts continued, "Certainly not me anyway! Bloody idiot's cut through the picture rail to mount it, too! And it's dangerously low! I wonder how long it'll be before I bump my head on it, corners look nice 'n' sharp!"

It was 5 days, and it was savage. I've now got a throbbing lump on my forehead only about 1.5" to 2" from my right eye. The piece of junk is now in the utility room. I reckon it's less of a liability as something to trip over.

There ought to be a law protecting tall people like me from the consequences of short-arsed thinking.

[Scion]

Java Jive put finger to keyboard:

Baldrick had a cunning plan to solve the problem of his mother's low ceiling.

[John Rumm]

Sums up plenty of "designer" kitchens...

Gets interesting when one's swmbo operates at a level 14" below your own... in my case its those sodding plastic steps I keep tripping over!

[Owain]

Tie the kickstep to her ankles with elastic?

Owain

[Brian Gaff]

Ah yes, I'm not that tall but I hate anything that has no padded or at least rounded corners. When you cannot see these things are a real menace wherever they try to hide.

Banisters with oddly placed knobs, doors that swing part way closed silently after you pass though them, all are there to cause cranial gbh to the unwary blind person.

Brian

[Roger Mills]

We had the same problem when having our kitchen done a couple of years ago. I was worried about bashing my head on the corners of a conventional cooker hood - so we opted for one of these:

Bloody expensive, but ours was an ex-showroom demo model, so we got it at a reduced price.

[Tim Streater]

Bad luck.

Ah, you're a big beady-eyed beanstalk :-)

You're right about the hoods, but mostly because most of them do not vent to the outside. Farting about with charcoal filters is a pain, for the reasons you gave. Could yours be re-engineered to be at a greater height and externally venting?

[S Viemeister]

I saw an interesting kitchen once - the kickspaces under the cabinets held nice sturdy platforms (with lift-up storage inside)which pulled out on rollers for the short wife, but allowed the worktops to be high enough for the very tall husband.

[John Rumm]

Na, as it is you can have a cuddle and still have a place to rest your pint ;-)

;-)

[John Rumm]

Nice idea... although whether one wants to make the kitchen more self usable is a different question ;-)

[Owain]

Thanks! (If I ever meet her!)

Owain

[John Rumm]

Perhaps I could have phrased that better ;-))

[jgharston]

I'm five foot ten, and it baffles me why kitchens are still being built for a four-foot nothing Victorian skullery maid. Before my back gave out I redid my kitchen about ten years ago and raised all the units four inches. Whenever I'm using somebody else's kitchen (or bathroom basin) it is painfully noticable how far away everything is.

JGH

[Huge]

Except I'm 6'3"

When I fitted the kitchen in our last house, I did the same.

[fred]

Most kitchen units are built to a standard height. Extractor fan manufactur ers give recommended height above hob. Not too close for fire risk reasons, not too far for efficiency reasons. This should govern the height of the e xtractor. It most definitely should be vented outside. It should not use th at 4" collapsible bendy pipe as this ruins the efficiency. Use plastic pipe instead. It should have a minimum of bends. It should preferably be built to function with 6" pipe. Fulfil all those pararmeters and pick one that doesn't have sharp corners. If all else fails pad the sharp corners or paint them bright red

[PeterC]

Same here, but 6' 4" - and those sharp corners are made from a dangerous substance called bollockhite.