On the subject of flooding...

[tony sayer]

OK a bit Heath Robinson I know but...

A friend of mine up North told me the other week that his daughter and S-in Law were flooded near Donny.

Seems the "grief" came in via the lavatory, out of that, then in under the doors.

Now I know it may sound a bit daft.. I wonder if it wouldn't be a good idea if people in flood prone areas were to have some sort of bung device to block the sewage out pipe and then if they could seal or with battens screw shut the doors etc so that this would stop flood water coming in for the greater extent.

Course that sounds mad but wouldn't it then be best if you deliberately flood inside of your house so that there was a bit more water in and this could equalise the pressure from the outside so that when it all goes down perhaps there won't be so much of the stinking stuff in your house so possibly less trouble all around?

Mad or sad or what?...

[Don Spumey]

Our local 'village idiot' was being teased in the pub the night of the flood.

"Where do you live Claire?"

'Highcourt'

"What floor"

'16th'

"And your not flooded?"

'No'

"How come? My brother lives on the 17th & he is!"

She promptly telephoned her b/f to ask how bad things were at home!

Don.

[Weatherlawyer]

OOP NURTH, LADDIE?

Oop nurth?

Theyst theyer lavs outside, oop nurth.

[ARWadsworth]

My conclusion is that Clair is blond, a hairdresser or a teacher.

Adam

[tony sayer]

Normally taken to be anywhere the other side of Watford..

Mind you he's always saying "why opp north etc etc;)....

[Owain]

These are available - I think there's a link to suppliers from one of the flood prevention websites.

Owain

[ARWadsworth]

Is a true Northerner a Scot? It is after all UK.D-I-Y.

Adam

[Don Spumey]

I think 'up north' refers to anywhere above Watford Gap ;-)

Don.

[Autolycus]

I'd love to see the loss adjuster's face when he comes to sort out your claim: "So the flood water didn't actually reach your house, but you decided to flood it anyway"

Now let's do the sums on putting, say, a foot of water into your house using the kitchen tap (assuming Drivel Towers doesn't have its own 2" hydrant). Let's say its floor area is 600 square feet. So we need 6000 cu ft of water to get a depth of one foot, assuming no leaks. With me so far? 6000 cu ft is 37,500 gallons. What does your kitchen tap manage? 3 gallons/minute? Let's call it 4, since you had the new main installed to feed the combis. So that's 9375 minutes, or 156 and a bit hours - say six and a half days. Let's hope the outside flood is rising slower than most do.

[Grumps]

Oops! Surely 600 cu ft would give a depth of 1 ft over an area of 600 sq ft.

[Andy Hall]

Ah but your missing two vital pieces of information from Drivel-logic:

- Each tap in the house is able to deliver as much as the kitchen cold tap, so with the kitchen hot tap and the hot and cold taps in the bathroom, that will seven times the flow rate and the desired amount of water will have been delivered in under a day

- Since half of the water is hot, it will be twice the volume due to expansion.

[Autolycus]

[John Stumbles]

A few years ago when we had flooding round here (Reading) friends whose house was at risk were all prepared with a small rubber football to shove down the WC pan.

[tony sayer]

In article , Autolycus writes

Well my auntie managed around 2 inches of water in her downstairs rooms around a couple of hours when she left the taps on and ruining in the bath, overflow blocked, and then forgot all about that whilst gassing round next doors whilst cadging some sugar......