There has been a recent increase in toilet theft incidents in the US.
The president claims this is being caused by terrorists, and
recommends visiting www.ready.gov. However, most plumbers interviewed
say the thefts are not being caused by terrorism, but are being done
by a number of rival gang members who are calling themselves "modern
robin hoods". Apparently they are collecting toilets from the rich,
and giving them to the poor people, who have no pot to piss in. While
their goals must be congratulated, they are causing many wealthy
Americans to become full of shit. This seems to be most obvious in
Historically, there have always been increases in toilet theft during
times when the economy was poor, as it is now. Therefore, the actual
cause of these thefts is still being investigated. It's a sign of our
times, said one plumber. "People are starving and homeless. They
need somewhere to relieve themselves".
I am posting this because I am looking for suggestions how to secure
my toilet so that it can not be stolen. Those two bolts that hold it
to the floor are inadaquate, and anyone with a cheap foreign made
wrench can remove these bolts and steal the toilet. We need better
protection to insure that our toilets are not stolen. I have
considered building a box around my toilet from 3" thick oak bridge
decking, held together with one way screws, and locking the whole
thing with the best Master Lock I can buy. I also thought of
installing an alarm the would sound a buzzer and automatically call
the police every time the lid is lifted. However, all of this takes
time and money, and makes using the toilet difficult. There must be
an easy way to secure our toilets from these theives.
Well, I think pretty soon I will have to "go". I better check my
toilet to be sure it's there when I need it.