This Old House and Toilet Testing

[SpamFree]

Did everyone see the recent episode on the subject show where the plumbing guy visited the plumbing parts manufacturer and they showed him how they tested (among other things) toilets?

No wonder we have such hopeless toilets. They tried golf balls and, wow, it passed all of them. And then little pieces of hose and again wow, they all passed (for the sarcasm-impaired, this is sarcastic). And then they had a bunch of single sheets of toilet paper and those--wow--passed as well. A couple of other equally useless tests the details I don't remember and of course the dumper passed those too.

(If only people would ask me....) In the case of toilet paper what they should have tested are three feet of paper wadded up and glued (loosely) together, and another three foot piece similarly wadded into a couple of inches, and another...about five in total. Then put in a couple of ripe, peeled but uncut bananas. Let all this settle for a couple of minutes to simulate the reading of yet another chapter of War and Peace and then flush. Break out the plunger!

To simulate certain members of my family a banana is only about half the required size (length and diameter) so the mfg is getting off really easily.

[Dan Lanciani]

| Did everyone see the recent episode on the subject show where the | plumbing guy visited the plumbing parts manufacturer and they showed | him how they tested (among other things) toilets?

I don't know about everyone, but I saw it.

| And then they had a bunch of single sheets of toilet paper and | those--wow--passed as well.

I think the paper was actually wadded.

What I would like to have seen is a simple dye test. Drop in some food coloring. Mix. Flush. On the low-flush toilet that came with my house the water would not be clear after a single flush...

Dan Lanciani ddl@danlan.*com

[limeylew]

Glad to see that you are a student of 'what goes down the toilet bowl'. :-)

I remember once, when I was working in a machine shop, a LARGE piece of human excrement got stuck in the bowl. The guy who noticed this passed the word around about what he had seen and several of the guys went into the rest room with calipers and actually MEASURED it.

Then, of course, there was a lot of spectulation as to who could have passed it.

Lewis.

***********

[Steve Rush]

We need a new bathroom fixture: a combination faucet and bucket hook, with a volumetric valve to automatically refill the bucket. That way, you would always have an extra gallon or two of water to make that damn Federally-mandated "water saving" toilet actually work when you really need it to. For the rest of the world: it is now _illegal_ in the United States to install an old-style 3-gallons-per-flush toilet.

[Joseph Meehan]

Most if not all new toilets have that built in. Try holding the handle down for a few extra seconds.

Frankly, while there was a real problem with the early models, today the problem is not really low water usage, it is a matter of poor and cheap design. Most everyone has the standard contractor toilet. Cheap is the word to describe them. There are plenty of, not too expensive, models out there with very good designs (including large fully glazed traps) available today.

[trader4]

Maybe they should just hire your family, they sound perfect

[Banty]

You mean, one's that weren't seemingly designed for small to medium-sized people with high roughage content in their diets?

Makes and models, please!

Banty

[Alan]

I agree with your testing comments, however... about a week ago, we had the American Standard Champion installed. We haven't had a clog yet. There have been occasions where the old toilet definitely would have clogged.

[Dick]

Toto Drake, Dalton, UltraMax, Carlyle, Baldwin, Dartmouth, Carrollton

American Standard Cadet

Gerber Ultra Flush

These are all in the $300 to $500 range, but they will do the job.

Dick

[Matt]

Thanks for sharing. Now why exactly is it that you inspect your families shit?

[Michael Baugh]

American Standard Cadet is less than $150 at Home Depot. Never a double-flush required.

[Patriarch]

Banty wrote in news: [e-mail]:

The Briggs models I installed last year do really well. And they are regularly stress tested here.

Patriarch

[Tekkie]

Matt posted for all of us....

He wants to know his shit!

[SpamFree]

Who do you think has the pleasant job of using the plunger.

[JerryMouse]

This is but another example of our government working at cross-purposes.

On the one hand, as you point out, there are federal regulations on toilets designed to conserve water.

On the other hand, there are minions in the government encouraging us to eat more fruits and vegetables.

Now fruits and vegetables generate a lot of "floaters," whereas meat (yum) generate more "sinkers."

The "sinkers" flush easily, whereas the "floaters" are difficult to wash down, resulting in more flushes and, in extreme cases, having to be removed from the bowl by hand!

There ought to be a department of "Setting Priorities."

[FlavorFlav]

To boost show ratings they could have a different cast member use the toilet (do their duty) on camera and show people how not to clog it up. They could begin with Rich who installs them. He could then jump on the toilet and test it immediately.

[John Hines]

And the requirement for chlorination removes getting "the runs" which would solve the problem entirely.

[Matt]

Yes, I like this idea. I think a camera should also be mounted in the bowl. Then they could have a sweepstakes to see what viewer can identify which show personality, based upon ass and stool characteristics. Like I bet Norm has a big fat pasty white hairy ass, and his turds are probably huge. Bob, on the other hand, probably has a tanned ass, and rarely if ever takes a shit.

They could even base a reality show on this..... contestants would have to crap in dangerous places, like in a lions den or maybe from a highwire; or face eviction from the island. Whoever craps the biggest would be tribal leader.

[FlavorFlav]

"Matt" wrote in news: [e-mail]:

This is great! You know if Norm let loose a big one, he can use one of his many power tools to cut it up into smaller pieces.

They could also use their poops on "Ask this Old House" where they usually discuss weird looking things and what they are. They could discusss their droppings,too.

They could also sneak into the homes of the ladies and leave them a gift in their toilets. Then set up a hidden camera and watch if she screams when she opens the toilet lid. Gee the possibilities are endless.

[Matt]

Sort of like candid toilet cam!

Hell yes. If they bought seinfeld, this would surely get picked up. An even wackier idea would be to leave them a gift in the bathroom or kitchen sink, perhaps even on a counter or the floor. And then on halloween, they could set up in a single persons house; wait till the person went in the shower, and then put a turd in the toilet. That would really scare people.