Things you'll never see.....

[Jerry.Tan]

Things you'll never see.....

A Size 1 Shoe.

A home with solid gold plumbing.

A 29.99 dollar bill.

A house built entirely with feathers.

A one ton U.S. Minted coin.

A silent (alive) human women. (except those without vocal chords).

Wireless electricity sent via satellite.

A two foot long parade.

Instant water.

A third sex (gender). (surgical manipulations excluded)

A home with the roof in the ground and basement on the top.

A mobile home skyscraper.

A bank file for bankruptcy.

People born alive without any face.

A 5 mile long snake.

A 20 ton human being.

A square car tire.

Square billiard balls.

A battery that lasts a century and never needs charging.

A human mind powered by Google. (computer nerds excluded)

Clear (colorless) bread.

A concrete candle that ignites.

A "Darkbulb" (turn it on and day becomes night)

A politician who never lies.

A hand tool that requires NO HANDS.

A day with NO WEATHER!

Go ahead, add to this list.... It'll be fun!

[bob_villa]

Something is seriously wrong with you...this sounds like micky, or mormon! WTF

[bob_villa]

...anyone here with a Mensa card.

[Stormin Mormon]

A Jehovas Witness who won't talk about it

A federal law that is for the good of the people

Rev. Al saying that a white cop "just did his job", after shooting a black suspect

Pres. Obama saying that white cops treat black suspects fairly

A liberal who says that rich people pay too much taxes

A dentist who says to stop using fluoride

A femminist woman who insists on paying for dinner

Muslim cleric who says that Israel needs more land

Baptist minister who says he needs a Mormon priesthood blessing, cause those really work

Catholic priest who skips attending the Choir Boys Recital, so he can go to the nuns' sewing circle

Southern US redneck who sells his truck and gun to buy a Prius.

[Retired]

Usenet newsgroups that stay On Topic ........

(excluding moderated groups)

[Dan Espen]

When you don't have anything to contribute, become the class clown. Everyone appreciates the class clown.

Oh, wait, no we don't. We're actually here to discuss home repair.

All these years and you're still the class clown.

[Tony Hwang]

Hi, Voluntary act at that. Some one has to do it, LOL!

[Dean Hoffman]

This

isn't the Empire State Building but it is multi-story.

[bob_villa]

I'm old enough to remember Milton Berle and "Your Show of Shows", Ernie Kovaks, and Sid Caesar...so you're just out in left field on this one.

[Jerry.Tan]

It sounds like something is seriously wrong with your sense of humor. (And the others who complaiend about this post). I guess they call that humor impaired. And if you actually read what I posted, many of those itesm are NOT off topic, because they refer to "home" "tools", and so on. (Which is why I posted it on alt.home.repair. without putting (OT) in the header).

Of course I keep forgetting this is 2015, and the only things this younger generation find humorous are things that offend others or contain sexual filth or racist comments.

I'll stick to the clean humor I grew up with, like Abbot and Costello, the Three Stooges, Barney Miller, and all those good old humorous tv shows, that really made people laugh.

Of course that was long before all the total crap they show on tv these days, and have the nerve to call it "reality tv".

Of it was not for "ME-TV" and "THIS-TV" (the oldies), I would have gotten rid of my tv set years ago.

[Ed Pawlowski]

Friday night we watch the boxing from MSG sponsored by Gillette.

[83LowRider]

You just never know!

[micky]

Change via satellite, to via a transmitter in the home, and this was my only prediction when I was about 13, in 1960. I hear it's finally getting closer.

Hey, thanks.

[micky]

All of that is so true.

And remember the summer between the season Saturday Night LIve was funny, and all the time since then when it's not? What happened to change things?

And some of the radio comedies have me laughing outloud, even when no one else is in the room.

I watch those too, and when my antenna amp is working, I get Antenna TV also.