Stair accidents and how to avoid them and lessen their impact

That's probably the stickiest part of the problem. There is nothing wrong with him living in his living room, sleeping in a lounger, if he is relatively comfortable, safe and clean. It would take some moxie, but daughter might just hire someone to come in one day - or couple of hours on weekdays - to fix meals (freeze some, etc.), clean, help with whatever. I've dealt with stubborn elders, but the most valuable tool was their trust - had one dear friend who passed at age 94. Her hubby died when she was 88, and for remaining years she lived at home with a live-in helper weekdays. Friend fell a couple of times, told me but not her son...tricky to deal with, and I did share one event that I swore him to not "know". Son would get rather excited and want her in a home, so that is why she didn't want him to know. He trusted me also, because he knew I'd tell him of anything he HAD to know. She had multiple serious health issues for many years, but sharp as a tack. Best of friends, as well.

If he can afford thousands for kids' vacations, he can probably afford some household help. If one kid sacrifices a vacation for his good, it might make a big difference.

The "we" and "they" between sets of children can be awful - have seen families fight over pain medication for terminal patients in hospital, and that ain't pretty.

Forget "happy" - it might make him happier to have someone grow some balls and do what needs to be done.

Did you have to marry her to get the ladder?