READ THE DAMNED LABEL!!!

[Bubba]

It is absolutely amazing how much a can of spray-on oven cleaner looks like a can of Lemon-Scented Pledge when you aren't wearing your glasses.

[Doug Miller]

So.... did you try to clean your oven with Lemon Pledge, or did you try to dust your furniture with Easy-Off?

That's a mistake I'll never make. I can't find my way across the room without my glasses. I take them off to clean them, to shower, to swim, or when I go to bed. Otherwise, they're on my nose.

-- Regards, Doug Miller (alphageek at milmac dot com)

Nobody ever left footprints in the sands of time by sitting on his butt. And who wants to leave buttprints in the sands of time?

[John Harlow]

Be glad it wasn't spray adhesive!

[SteveB]

NEVER ............... EVER ................. keep KY and Ben-gue in the same nightstand!

In the dark, they are identical.

Except for the screaming.

Steve

[Warren Weber]

That hit home. The box of chicken broth looked a lot like the box of soy milk in the fridge. Chicken broth on cereal is bad tasting.W W

[The Dave©]

And even then...

[FlavorFlav]

"Bubba" wrote in news:89rVd.8359$ [e-mail]:

Did you try to wax your Mr. Freddy with it?

[Doug Miller]

And the odor. Do you have no sense of smell?

-- Regards, Doug Miller (alphageek at milmac dot com)

Nobody ever left footprints in the sands of time by sitting on his butt. And who wants to leave buttprints in the sands of time?

[Doug Miller]

In contrast to soy milk, of course, which tastes bad on everything....

-- Regards, Doug Miller (alphageek at milmac dot com)

Nobody ever left footprints in the sands of time by sitting on his butt. And who wants to leave buttprints in the sands of time?

[Oscar_Lives]

No shit! It also looks just like a can of lemon-scented deodorant.

[Stormin Mormon]

Are you having lemon scented potroast tonight?

Or did you degrease your furniture?

[Stormin Mormon]

You hear about the gal who couldn't tell the difference between vaseline and putty?

[Stormin Mormon]

and one smells of wintergreen oil?

[Jim Yanik]

"Stormin Mormon" wrote in news:N5uVd.55721$ [e-mail]:

I met a young lady who when given a yellow squeeze bottle and a red squeeze bottle and told to refill them,asked which one was ketchup and which one mustard.

Truth!

But,boy,she sure is gorgeous!(blond,too!)

[Robert Barr]

At least you didn't mistake it for the aerosol antiperspirant.

[Stormin Mormon]

Or eye drops versus lens cleaner.

[William Brown]

[Stormin Mormon]

Actually, word for word, that is the correct punchline.

Your father told you that one, too?

[John Harlow]

Why would someone put windows *there*?

[Dee]

Absolutely true story from many years ago: Just out of shower, not wearing glasses, FDS & can of underarm deodorant. I got that skylight I'd always wanted.