I spent the last 5 weeks building a nice deck on the front of my house. It sticks out from the house 10 feet and covers the whole front of the house. I built it without posts, so it just attached to the house.
When it was completed, I walked out to the edge, and all of a sudden my house tipped over. Now the house sits as a 45 deg angle being held in place by the deck. And the front of the deck is now touching the lawn.
How do I fix this?
Very easy, this kind of thing happens all the time. Just build the same size deck on the back of the house and when it's complete stand near the edge and let gravity do the rest.
Build back deck equal or bigger than front one and walk out on it. You are a troll, plonk!
Whatever you do, don't leave where you're standing.
Or it will plop back and break things.
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As this problem is clearly a direct affect of global warming, er, I mean climate change, it will be impossible to fix. If only you had used fewer fossil fuels during your hedonistic life. Serves you right.
Move to Guam.
No, no, no, Guam will tip over if too many people go there! At least the honorable Hank Johnson thinks so.
There are all kinds of reality shows about flipping houses...check into it! ( ° ???°)???
paint the new deck with helium paint.
Better call Burland.
Happens to me from time to time
I wrote this poem concerning the subject (a few years ago)
It was rejected by the New Yorker but in the issue I expected to see it, they had a cartoon about people eating on the ceiling
I am still pissed off
· WednesdaysWednesdays were always my favorite. Pabst allowed us to dine on the ceiling.
The table: A hardware store extravaganza of brackets and gears, Pulleys and screws and levers and mirrors. We?d climb the ladder and fasten ourselves in.
Drinking was a bit messy? Soup required special bowls.
Marmz never much saw the point? But those days were the best days, I?ve ever remembered? Until the tornado.
Sissy-ister was tossed, Upside down. The soup bowl on her head, A Mulligan crown.
Pabst set out to hire pachyderm, To de-topsy our turvey home. The elephant boss Mahout, In the bottle his snoot, Was (alas) of no use.
Our house remained on its side.
We no longer dine Wednesdays? On the ceiling.
Now ?tis Thursday? The day we eat upside down. Our normal day? As I recall, The day we ate upon the wall.
You must give the Generals a lot of credit for holding their knee slapping and gut busting laughter until after the hearing.
The really sad thing is that idiot is still in office.
Perhaps he is less harmful than some of the "smart" ones.
Get a job. Pay off your student loans.
Have a few beers. You won't notice it anymore.
Reminds me of The Scarecrow, starting at 2:30.
What's not to like about a congressman who talks like the greatest catcher in the history of baseball?
He had a law practice for 25 years and was a magistrate for 10 of those years. He was elected to congress in 2006. His first bill said street patrols in Iraq should be turned over to the Iraqis. I'd call him a cut above Rumsfeld, who expressed indifference to GI requests for armored HUMVs. He also said units must not be deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan unless certified mission capable, unless the president waived that for a particular unit, for national security.
The Atlanta Journal Constitution found him pretty sharp. So did his constituents. Sixty percent were black, but he took 99.9% of the vote in 2008.
He was diagnosed with Hepatitis C in 1998. He said he didn't know how he'd contracted it. The virus wasn't even proved to exist until 1989, so in those days, hospitals weren't good at screening blood or making sure surgical equipment was safe.
In February of 2010, he completed a successful treatment at Walter Reed, but the disease had left him underweight and easily confused. That would explain his inappropriate metaphor the following month. Constituents still had faith in him. He took 75% of the vote in November. Since then, he has regained his acuity and gained weight.
"On October 5, 2014 The Washingtonian published their 15th biennial "Best & Worst of Congress" list. This is a unique perspective of how congressional staffers see elected members of congress. The process is simple, ALL staffers -of all offices- get ballots asking for the best and worst elected members of congress in various categories. Rep. Hank Johnson was voted "Worst Speaker" and "Most Clueless" by congressional staffers."
Sixty percent were black, but he took 99.9% of the vote
he ran unopposed.
I gave blood around 1988, and soon got a letter from the Red Cross saying I had non-A, non-B, non-C hepatitits, something not really known to exist at the time (Since C wa a catch-all for a while) and that I shouldnt' give blood anymore. They do this diagnosis based not on any symptoms I had but on values of certain things in the blood.
I didn't really like giving blood, so that was a good, compelling excuse.
Then 15 years later I got a letter from them (It pays not to move) telling me that new information or new studies or something meant I didnt' have hepatitis after all...... but I still shoudn't give blood. My internist couldnt' explain that.
But I guess I have the best of both worlds, I'm not sick but I don't have to give blood. Well I would like to, except when I'm doing it.
Wow. So that's the rest of the story.
I've gained weight!
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