Larger animals in the attic

Nope, it's not mice or rats this time.
It's large animals that make the whole house vibrate when they walk around. I called in the pros, and they said that whatever was in my attic was larger than they are equipped to deal with, and they left after handing me a bill for $378 for coming to my home. I then knew it was up to me and some technology to find these critters.......
I went to Best Buy and bought the gear. The nerds that work there wanted me to buy an extended warranty for $150. I told them to shove it!
I got home, ready for war, and set up all this equipment. Upon careful examination, using a telephoto lens, microphones, and closed circuit tv camera, I found the suspects.
There were two of them.
1. A donkey 2. An elephant
And they were beating the crap out of each other in my attic!!!!
Using a rope and a pair of gloves, I roped them, and transported them in the back of my SUV to the Whitehouse in Washington, where I released them on the front lawn!!!!
I wonder, could this have anything to do with the upcoming election?
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