It's St. Patricks Day, and that means everything must be green. Your
clothing, your food, your beer and your beard. Even your hair must be
dyed green. If you're really serious about St. Patricks Day, you will
even buy a green car just for that one day every year. Of course if
you're truly into St. Patricks day, you likely can not drive a car
because you've lost your drivers license from driving while intoxicated
(DWI), during previous St. Patrick day celebrations. If this is the
case, you'll likely be riding a horse rather than driving a car. That
of course means you'll have to dye your white horse bright green,
whether the horse likes it or not! While you're at it, dye your dog or
cat green too!
One thing people often neglect is to paint their house green for St.
Patricks Day. If your house is any color other than GREEN, you have a
big job ahead of you, and only hours to finish. Rush down to Home
Depot, buy a few cases of green paint, and painting tools, and get to
work. By March 18, EVERY home in America must be GREEN! So, get that
paint brush moving! Dont forget to paint your driveway green too, as
well as the garage, barn, shed, and even the trees. (Oh wait, trees are
Note: On March 19, you can repaint your house back to the color it was
before St. Patricks Day, and leave it that color until NEXT MARCH, at
which time you once again paint it GREEN!
Side note for those painting their home green: If you're having to
quickly paint your house green for March 17, you'll likely be drinking
lots of green beer at the same time. By the time your home is painted
green, you'll likely have green paint all over yourself and you wont
have to dye your hair, or change into green clothing......
CAUTION: Do not mix green house paint with standard beer to make it
green. You'll make yourself sick, (HIC).... Either buy ready made green
beer, or just add a few drops of green food coloring to a regular beer.
And for the sake of your horse and other pets, please do not use green
paint on them. Use approved green hair dye!
Well, it's time I ride on out of here on my GREEN STEED, (pictured
below), and go have myself a green beer!
HAPPY ST. PATRICKS DAY!