Earth Day, April 22

For Earth day, I drove around in a 1995 Chevrolet van, releasing carbon dioxide. I serviced coolers that contain freon. Didn't release any, I just did electrical work on them. I helped capitalists sell consumer goods to people. Consumer goods manufactured with petroleum and energy and natural resources. I used gasoline, oil, electricity, worked on freon units, and drove on rubber tires. I filled the gas tank of my van with irreplacable fossil fuel. I turned on lights when I got home, thus ordering the use of nuclear fuel at the local power plant. I spent time on the computer, enjoying the information age. As it gets colder tonight, I'll burn natural gas in my furnace (I can hear it behind me....) thus spewing recklessly more carbon monoxide and carbon dioxide into the air.

Life is good.

Reply to
Stormin Mormon
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"Stormin Mormon" wrote in news:gsob15$39o$ snipped-for-privacy@news.motzarella.org:

well,nuclear plants are used in baseload operation,and coal-fired for adjusting load with changes in demand. so,you probably used coal and spewed more carbon into the air.....B-)

right now,I've got my incandescant lamp illuminating my keyboard. a wasteful 130v bulb(lasts -much- longer) on a dimmer.

the last 130v bulb in this fixture lasted 15 years. One 130v bulb in my bath has lasted 23 years. they don't make them like that anymore!

Reply to
Jim Yanik

"Stormin Mormon" wrote in news:gsob15 $39o$ snipped-for-privacy@news.motzarella.org:

I ate chili and generated natural gas to offset your actions. Nice working with ya :-)

Reply to
Red Green

I hope it doesn't shock you!

Reply to
Clot

well,nuclear plants are used in baseload operation,and coal-fired for adjusting load with changes in demand. so,you probably used coal and spewed more carbon into the air.....B-)

CY: I can just hear all those plants hungrilly sucking up the carbon dioxide, and turning it to simple sugars.

right now,I've got my incandescant lamp illuminating my keyboard. a wasteful 130v bulb(lasts -much- longer) on a dimmer.

CY: Now, that's a good way to go.

the last 130v bulb in this fixture lasted 15 years. One 130v bulb in my bath has lasted 23 years. they don't make them like that anymore!

CY: Try keeping the bulb dry, they last longer that way. Don't have the bulb in your bath tub with you.

Reply to
Stormin Mormon

Did you buy carbon credits, or are you a polluting scofflaw like me?

Reply to
Stormin Mormon

If it wasn't for a small snafu, I would have taken delivery of a new fossil fuel guzzling, pollution belching 8,000# diesel truck today... Hopefully I'll get it tomorrow.

Reply to
Pete C.

Stormin Mormon wrote:

I fixed two refrigerated make lines today and picked up a power supply for a wireless router I have to install for someone. The worst thing I did was fart a lot. I have been spewing many milliliters of methane and hydrogen sulfide gas into the open air and regretfully, some confined spaces causing several episodes of retching and fainting spells for those around me. I can always tell when my flatulence is particularly pernicious because IT BOTHERS ME. The discolored foliage and birds dropping from the sky is another exceedingly odiferous clue. This has been going on for several weeks now and has caused the destruction of a fair amount of upholstery and at least one evacuation of a crowded public place. I'm not sure what to do, I've tried every normal remedy except for a flare stack on the roof of my home attached to rubber shorts with a flexible hose. I may have to use a draft inducer for it to function properly. There are activated charcoal underpants but I'm afraid the things would be overwhelmed by the sheer volume of my tailpipe emissions. Perhaps a catalytic converter from an automobile, but those have to be fairly hot in order for it to work and I could burn my backside in the process. The incredible volume and high velocity of the escaping fumes is quite painful because of the violent slamming open and shut of some very delicate tissue which comprises my posterior orifice. I don't know what to do except to move away from other people until this problem abates but a lot of wildlife could be decimated if I moved to a rural area not to mention the possibility of severe crop damage. I'm at a loss as to the proper course of action I should take.

TDD

Reply to
The Daring Dufas

On 4/22/2009 7:50 PM The Daring Dufas spake thus:

[...]

Dunno how much of your diet consists of beans or other legumes, but if it's a significant amount, you might want to look at cooking methods that reduce flatulence.

Unfortunately, I'm having a hard time finding this information out there in cyber-land. Years ago I used to listen to Bay Area chef Narsai David's 5-minute reports on KCBS (all news), and in one of them he told of a sure-fire method of cooking beans so as to eliminate flatulence. The method came from some ag school in the Midwest, and involved soaking the beans for a certain time, draining the water, etc.

I did find this link dealing with the topic:

formatting link
knows--may reduce your flammability index.

Reply to
David Nebenzahl

on 4/22/2009 8:11 PM (ET) Jim Yanik wrote the following:

My computer is in the basement with very little ambient light from windows. I have a Logitech keyboard with back lit keys. I do have a desk lamp with a 13 V CFL lighting the desk top to find things. The only other lighting I use in this basement on a regular basis are the stairway lights, which are only on after dark.

Reply to
willshak

5

Enjoy it while you can because it is rumored that Obama intends to include methane in the Cap and Trade tax program. You could end up paying a high tax for that fart pretty soon.

Reply to
BobR

Enjoy it while you can because it is rumored that Obama intends to include methane in the Cap and Trade tax program. You could end up paying a high tax for that fart pretty soon.

I read a little about Obama's magic train that will eliminate the need for cars (my take on his intentions) and it also said he wants to eliminate CO2 and methane. I guess that means that those of us that live 25 miles from the train station won't be able to ride a horse because they produce methane. Plus we'll have to get rid of all the cows. Oh wait, won't building the train system produce a bunch of CO2? Gonna have to use magic to build it I guess. And then there's the problem with running the train. Maybe it'll be powered by "good intentions." It'll be the Train to Hell. BTW, don't humans emit quite a bit of CO2? That part is going to take a lot of work. Come to think of it all mammals are gonna have to go. It'll be paradise with only plants living on Earth. But gee, don't those plants need CO2 to survive? Maybe they can keep a few of the superior humans (like himself) to keep the plants satisfied.

Reply to
Ulysses

OK, best Gomer Pyle voice on: "Hey, Goober, that ain't far! That be a FAR Tax!"

Reply to
Stormin Mormon

Do the world a favor, and make this your last act of polluting. Grab the highest powered gun out of your gun cabinet. (We know all you religious whackos own guns, and belong to both the "NRA" and the "Guns For Jesus" organization"). Ok, once you have chosen your most powerful weapon, load it with ammunition according to the instructions included with the weapon. Once it's loaded, go somewhere outdoors to avoid messing up your carpeting. Be sure no one sees you with your gun, so if you have nearby neighbors, it may be best to do this in your garage or basement. Once you are in a safe and secluded place with only you and your gun, say a few prayers to your chosen Jesus of choice. Offer him the bullet for your sins, because Jesus loves ammunition. Then place the barrel of the gun against your head. Put your finger on the trigger, and quickly pull the trigger. The gun will add a very small puff of smoke to the surrounding air, which will quickly dissipate into the atmosphere, and will be your last act of pollution. Please note that any blood splatter that exudes from your body is not a pollutant, because it's organic. Once some low paid illegal immigrant cleans up the mess for less than half of minimum wage, the world will be a much better place, and Jesus will thank you for caring for his earth, while he sends your soul to hell, which is where he sends the souls of all polluters.

Note, please have a webcam turned on, and connected to the internet so we can all enjoy watching a polluter blow up. Besides that, Jesus enjoys watching his followers self destruct so he knows the exact moment to send them to hell. Jesus loves sending polluters to hell.

Reply to
constantine3

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