Let everyone know ahead of time you'll be doing that and do the same for the
kids. My kid found a way to remind himself to do his laundry after having
to wear dirty clothes to school once. Having to carry the dirty dishes to
the kitchen and bring back the clean ones before eating will help everyone
remember without nagging.
You can\'t have everything.....where would you put it?
this is probably the origin of the whole problem - he "works" and you
don't??! come on! :-)
i am presently a housefrau - not for too much longer - but i am very
generous with what i do for dh because he does a lot for me. a calm
discussion at a good time (using "i" statements - "i feel..." "i think..."
etc) is going to be a good start, but ultimately, if he can't pick up his
bloody plate from the table, under the circumstances you describe, i'd not
be picking it up either. find a nice way to say that (if you have to, if he
can't just be reasonable), and you're on your way.
your kids are quite little, there's much to be done, and it's good you don't
have very high expectations ;-)
start training up the boys so they get into good habits (at their ages, just
picking up after themselves a bit more, & doing errands for you on request,
is enough imo.) my 7 y.o. can be frightfully unhelpful at times, but no
doubt about it, the things which are just always expected, he does pretty
much automatically, & that's where you want to be with them at that age.
it's a massive help just if they will keep themselves & their own things in
order & be able to help with odd jobs when you ask. and for goodness sake,
put those scissors away ;-)
with the kids, remember to be positive - always try to notice what they
_have_ achieved, tried hard with, done a good job on, or remembered
spontaneously without being asked, & they'll be much more enthusiastic about
ingraining the habits & they will feel appreciated & much more willing to
help out, too.
i think your idea of calling your mum for a day or two while you do a really
big clean out is a good one (i'm not sure where pride is involved...? if you
& she have a bit of a weird relationship, just tell her you're nesting in
preparation for the new baby :-) if there IS stuff you should probably keep
but nowhere for it to go, think about how you could store or organise it
rotf...my neighbors 4yo cut his bangs to the top with his play scissors the
I only have one preschooler-- the rest are adult men-- now a 21 yo middle
son who will be going back to college very soon..the 22yo stayed there this
summer-- thank god---- and a 40 yo DH...and they are worse than the 4yo
believe me...slobs at heart......
I do what I can.. I try to do hot spots daily at the very least and then
say-- it'll get done tomorrow...no sense going insane as it undoes itself
I do make the 4yo clean up with me-- and we try to have certain times to
organize his stuff ..I find that many little plastic boxes with flip top
lids help for all of the small things he has... he likes to organize too--
somewhat OCD in nature...and unlike my older 2 were at that age but he is
alone basically so he is different -- no fighting and competition unless one
of the adult sons becomes infantile with impatience and that happens on a
Hang in there...no one can be perfect.. for...they would really be insane!
Years ago I had a friend who, after getting tired of nagging her teenagers
to pick up their things, put a Yale lock on a big closet. When the kids
left their things where they weren't supposed to be in the den, etc., after
a period of time she just swooped the things up and put them in the closet.
I don't remember how long these things had to stay or what the kids had to
do to get them back, but apparently this was working for her.
My father chucked everything out in the yard once - got tired of
coming in and seeing coat, books etc on the dining room table. The
embarassment of having to go out and collect the stuff cured me fast.
He used to say I would plop things on 'any flat surface' with a
disdainful look. He hated to go to harpy cousin's house - you had to
literally shove stuff over in order to sit on any chair. He said she'd
rather gossip and cause trouble than clean and pick up. He had her
number forty years ago - he was right.
Hi, can anyone suggest a 'method' of tidying up masses of clutter in a small
house. my problem is that i hate to throw stuff out, but now have so much
if i had an organised method of some kind to follow and do a little at a
time it would really help.
1. I started in my closets because it is a defined space, and when done
closets are easily maintained.
2. I did less used areas first so they would stay nice longer.
3. I used my TV room to put things I couldn't decide about. It slows things
down if you agonize over every item so going through several times seems to
work better for me.
4 get a trash bag for trash and a container for things you can't decide
about. then when you find a thing you do want put it in the room it needs
to be. its fine if you have lots of can't decide, just get rid of the trash
and sort what you want, then you can do another round later.
5. I might be alone in this but it finally started working for me when I
did all the "hidden" areas first, closets and drawers, kitchen cabinets... I
think this is because when I got these done I actually had places to put
things, I knew how much space it was and I simply got rid of what wouldn't
fit... post often and let us know how you are doing, ask questions here,
someone will know how to help, Lee
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