Harvey Keitel prostituting himself for Direct Line insurance.
About 12 seconds in you get a more or less decent view of the cistern with the problem.
I don't remember ever seeing a cistern with its water supply going in halfway up the right side. In my experience they usually are near the top, or are bottomfeed. It doesn't even look to me as if it could be a ballcock - rather one of the other float valve technologies. Makes the lame joke even lamer.
Pillock in the house doesn't even appear to have tried putting a bowl or bucket under the leak.
"If you are an idiot, buy Direct Line's Emergency Plumber proposition."