Memorial day weekend, the real reason

On the way to your Memorial day picnic, be sure to wear your seat belts, everyone. Wouldn't want a ticket. Be sure not to talk on the cell phone if you're driving, those tickets are nasy. If you own a gun, leave it home in the gun safe. With the ammo stored separately. You're not a cop or a soldier, you don't need guns, even if you're carrying a government authorized carry permit. Everyone will think you are a terrorist. You can always pull over to the side of the road and call 911 on your cell phone, let the highly armed government guys take care of you. At the picnic, use only FDA inspected meats, and FDA approved foods. If you bring beverages, do not drink alcohol. You don't want a DWI that will lose your driving privileges, and ruin your life. Remember, DWI can be a felony, and the cops are out there. Do not have a public prayer at the picnic or bless the food. Atheists and people of other faiths might be offended. Play only safe, non contact sports like soccer. Football is likely to hurt peoples self esteem. Don't keep score. Move people often from team to team, so the outcome is nearly equal, and everyone feels like a winner. Give everyone blue participation ribbons. If you meet a cop during the day, do exactly what the cop says, so you aren't suspected of being a terrorist. Stop for the DWI seat belt check points. I know they take forever, but it's for your own good. Smile when they ask you to open your trunk, so they can check for weapons. Surely, you have nothing to hide.

Nonspecific diety is asked to some how improve the USA. If you follow these simple rules, you are reasonably assured not to be arrested or detained for very long.

Reply to
Stormin Mormon
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USA! A country of freedom.

Reply to
Meanie

Despite the highest incarceration rate in the entire world?

nb

Reply to
notbob

I have zero experience with our current "Penology" system, thank goodness!

OTOH, I don't need to travel to our sun and personally measure the temperature to know it's hot. Duh.

nb

Reply to
notbob

Freedom for illegals who get away with things that would get a citizen locked up.

Reply to
Stormin Mormon

We only incarcerate locals, not illegal border criminals.

Reply to
Stormin Mormon

Ahh yes, you must know everything about the US and the World from the internet and media.

Reply to
Meanie

\ Close but not quite. Be sure to drink all the beer while waitng at the DUI checkpoint. The cops will take it for their own picnic if you don't.

Reply to
Dean Hoffman

notbob posted for all of us...

Have you or do you know someone that was found guilty of a crime requiring incarceration? The "rate" can diddled with as in any statistic but the USA is more efficient in spite of the broad freedoms the *criminal* justice system imposes.

Reply to
Tekkie®

Dean Hoffman posted for all of us...

That's why the bunch'oteenagers get stopped. Party time.

Reply to
Tekkie®

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