You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism. ~Erma Bombeck
Nice!
I celebrate independence day by driving my government inspected vehicle (which passes smog, emissions and safety check) to the gas station, where I buy mandated
10% ethanol fuel. I wear my seat belt, keep my license and registration handy for the DWI and seat belt check points. The uniformed and heavily armed police are so much nicer when I do everything they say. I go to the county owned park, read the regulations. Pack in, pack out, and fires only in the fireplaces provided. Do not feed the ducks. I listen to government approved news on the radio, eat USFDA inspected foods, and wave flags from Walmart, made in China. I return home to a bed with a matress "do not remove tag, under penalty of law" have a big glass of chlorinated water, wee in a 1.6 GPF toilet, and stumble off to bed, to dream of Monday when I can go back to my legal and heavily taxed job.God ^h^h^h Please bless America, one nation under whatshisname. Can't say that in public any more. Sorry.
Damn Storm. You are doing it wrong
Drink moonshine, shoot illegal fireworks and make jokes about the government. It is what our founding fathers wanted us to do.
Plus show up at a NASCAR event with Confederate Flags flying high. I like the black Don't Tread on Me flag but this one is better given our latest "outrage".
Hmm. I'll have to phone my case worker, and see if that's okay.
You crack me up! FUNNY! Real men don't wee in the toilet, though ... they aim with purpose and miss on purpose! HA!
Real men pee outside.
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