Cow Shatters from Severe Cold

December 23, 2004
The Dilly News
This is beyond belief. Last night it got so cold in Minnesota that a cow standing out in the field shatterred and fell to pieces. Farmer John Tilden was shocked when he got out to his pasture about 6am. and found one of his cows lying on the ground in several hundred pieces. The cow, an approximately five year old Holstein was completely shattered. All that remained was irregularly shaped pieces of black and white fur that somehow used to fit together and be a cow. A vererinarian was immediately called, who stated the cow got so cold that it just fractured from the inside out, and finally shatterred, most likely due to a sudden movement, and probably after getting scared from something. The veterinarian said the cow could not be saved, because there were just too many pieces to the puzzle, but he did manage to find the udder and it was filled with some very tastey ice cream, which was saved for Christmas dinner.
However, Tilden decided that since it's so cold outdoors, and since he is bored being in the house, he collected all the pieces and is planning to see if he can put the cow back together, with the help of his brother who has always been good at puzzles. After sending an urgent letter to Santa Claus asking for help with the puzzle, Tilden put out a plea for anyone willing to assist with the puzzle to please contact him immediately, and promises to share the ice cream with them.
Merry Christmas
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
Napalm Heart wrote:

Well, his first sentence is, "This is beyond belief." And it is! Should have stopped right there.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
That is not exactly true. Some of my Alpha Chi Fraternity brothers and I were out doing our nightly 'Cow Tipping' and when we tipped that young holstein, it broke into multiple pieces.
We have all pledged to tip at least 10 cows a night and didn't mean for anything bad to happen so we apoligize to Mr Tilden. We have relaxed the rules to say that we will NOT tip any cows in zero degree weather or below.
Sorry, PJ and friends.
On Fri, 24 Dec 2004 01:46:34 -0600, snipped-for-privacy@dillynews.com wrote:

Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
snipped-for-privacy@dillynews.com wrote:

Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

That's not the birth of an urban legend - It's the aborted remains of a butt-nugget from an idiot suffering from the delusion that "stupid" equals "funny".
--
Don Bruder - snipped-for-privacy@sonic.net - New Email policy in effect as of Feb. 21, 2004.
Short form: I'm trashing EVERY E-mail that doesn't contain a password in the
  Click to see the full signature.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

someone is going horn in and milk the story for all it's worth. No reason to to try and hide that the tail is totally untrue.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
Terry wrote:

But if it is further circulated, wouldn't it become a rural rather than an urban legend???
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

Ugh... Terry, blindfold yourself and go stand over against that wall. Cigarette optional...
--
Don Bruder - snipped-for-privacy@sonic.net - New Email policy in effect as of Feb. 21, 2004.
Short form: I'm trashing EVERY E-mail that doesn't contain a password in the
  Click to see the full signature.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
wrote:

I'd say that as an Urban Legend this is a flop.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
Andy writes:
Absolutely true.
I had a goat and a banana daquiri that died the same way !!!!! Andy
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

Methinks some folks are trying to milk this one for all it's worth. But... wutta hay?
Ray
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
If this really happened you'd see the pieces on eBay within 24 hours.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
sounds like humpty dumpty got caught in the cold in his cow outfit
and all the kings horses, and all the kings men, couldn't put humpty dumpty back together again...

Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
I used to smoke some of that stuff..
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

Related Threads

HomeOwnersHub.com is a website for homeowners and building and maintenance pros. It is not affiliated with any of the manufacturers or service providers discussed here. All logos and trade names are the property of their respective owners.