Americans Skeptical of Bob Hope Death
Jul 28, 8:45 AM (ET)
Washington (Reuters) - Supporters of Bob Hope rallied outside of the White
House on Pennsylvania Avenue today, insisting that the alleged death of the
comedian is a hoax perpetrated by the U.S. military. Carrying signs of "Bob
Lives!" and "Give us Hope!", protesters vowed to continue marching until their
concerns were addressed.
Speaking at an impromptu press conference, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld
displayed pictures of Hope's body, which exhibited little signs of trauma
other than that of "extreme aging". "After 100 years, this comedian's reign
of humor has finally come to an end", Rumsfeld stated. "We are hopeful, no
pun intended, that freedom loving comedians will now feel able to amuse us in
the manner in which they see fit, without fear of retribution."
The Secretary also stated that Hope's body will be made available to reporters
and photographers later in the week, in an attempt to offer further
confirmation of his death to the pro-Hope Americans. He would not confirm
whether or not military medical experts would attempt any facial
reconstruction prior to the viewing.