I was immersed in it as a kid. You know those guys with the skinny black ties and the bicycles. Plus our relatives. They did a good job of it. I was "witnessed" to (over and over and over and over). I still chose monotheism (Christianity) over polytheism (Mormonism).
Don't let it break your heart. You are trying to share something that matters to you with the rest of us. I wish there were more people like that in this world.
By the way, the number of sacraments ebbs and flows with history. "coronation" would make that eight sacraments.
And, I might add, the ancient (Orthodox) church wrote the bible. Everyone who uses it accepts our authority over it. Well, mostly. We put in the Bible what we though should go in the Bible.
And if you really, really, really think you are a monotheist Christian, be one. You would be a great pickup.
With that, I will drop the subject and let you have the last word, if you like.
-T