How to reapair my dark tower?

I´m an evil necromancer living in his dark tower and bringing terror to the surrounding lands.

Some foolish warriors tried to destroy my tower and wipe out my armies of the undead, but they failed.

However, they damaged my nice 2000-year old tower and I want to know how I can repair my dark tower without spending too much gold pieces?

Reply to
Adam Ben Nalois
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Too expensive to repair...you're better off buying a good used one:

Check Ebay

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Reply to
vairxpert

You're obviously a piss-poor necromancer, kimosabe. If you wre keeping your mind on tending to your dead, festering women like you should, you really wouldn't be giving two hoots about your tower falling apart. And armies of the undead are notoriously inept defenders as it is, so it's your own damn fault, really.

Really, dude -- get serious. The only way a necromancer can spread terror to the surrounding lands is by loading your dead chicks onto a catapault a letting fly. However, there isn't a single one of you willing to let a good woman go that way.

I suggest you just bury the dad chicks and spend the measly 15 bucks for a gallon of Behr or Sherwin-Williams beige and paint yourself into a corner that way, just like the rest of us middle-class mortals.

AJS

Reply to
AJScott

Easy: call a licensed professional! This is not a job for a tower-owner. Hundreds of necromancers die annually because of botched gargoyl installations, weak undead-retaining grates and wrong chemicals in their moat filtering units...

...oops, sorry, I thought this was alt.hvac.

Chip C Toronto

Reply to
Chip C

I put your question to a couple different consultants. Here are their replies:

Dr. Ruth Westheymer: Vell, if you vish, a little necromancing is not a bad thing. the problem is not to feel guilty about it, and not to hurt anyvone.

Dr. Laura: Necromancing? You're sick. Necromancers never get better. If I had your women on the phone, I'd tell them all to dump you flat, and go back to their graves. As to getting your dark tower repaired, why don't you call some of your neighbors in other castles, and see if you can find a retired fellow?

Rush: Aren't those liberal warriors something? They musta been from BATF (Bullies, Anglers, Trolls, and Fairies). Cause that's their style, to storm the compounds of perfectly good necromancers. I think you need an immediate tax cut (or some corpse cuts) to stimulate you.

GWBush: we have endured warriors too long. This is the greatest necromancing nation on the planet. We will search out and find those warriors, and bring them to justice.

Mark Ransley: Hey, dood, it's aint no big problem have some drywall on it and paint it with a bunc of exterior latex and youll have it all don ein no time.

Dan O.: How does a necromancing tower work?

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You also should keep in mind that the warriors evaporates there so depending on when you look, being destroyed may be normal. The real test is to see if ice is forming in the drain trough beneath the dungeon (cooling) corpses or not.

CBH: You necromancers are all the same. Trying to save a couple gold pieces by fixing it yourself. Do you have any idea how complicated dark towers are? If you don't fix it right, you'll have blood and plasma all through the house, and you will die, do you hear me, die!

Stormin Mormonn: What's the construction of the dark tower? You just might be able to plywood over it, and slap a couple quick coats of blood on with a paint roller.

Sadaaam Hussein: we will kill you necromancing infidels! I have no use for your tower, we will take it over, and make it into another palace for me.

Reply to
Stormin Mormonn

Reapair???

.:\:/:. +

Reply to
Jeff Wisnia

You haven't given us enough information to help you. Is it timber framed or dimensional lumber? What's the foundation material? Is the tower wired off a subpanel from the main castle? What about HVAC - have you thought about doing a manual-c (castle spec) and adding A/C while you do all this work ? What about radiant heat - it makes a tower floor feel much better in the morning. Do you have adequate foundation drainage or does the moat need work? I hope you're not planning on replacing the springs on the draw bridge by yourself, it's very dangerous.

Last but not least - have you consulted with the building inspector?

Reply to
Jimmy

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