I don't think it's nitpicking. Per Gfre, they want all the service disconnects for a building to be located close to each other, visible together, etc.
No, it's wired ahead of the other disconnect. The pool panel and the house panel both are wired in identically, in parallel. I believe for it to be a feeder, it would have to be wired in *after* the main disconnect. The incoming service serves two main panels in parallel.
It's not the grouping in the pool panel that's the issue. Those are grouped. The grouping violation is if the pool panel is not located right near the other main disconnect that serves the house. Then you have several, ie the pool breakers, in one place and the other one for the rest of the house, in another. That's what would be a code violation.
Yes, that would fix it, assuming there is somthing that is actually a violation. But so far, if that pool panel is installed outside, next to the disconnect for the house panel, then from everything I see so far, there is no code violation. It's just not a good way of doing it.